The Savvy Boomer postulates that most baby boomers didn’t learn touch typing in school.
I don’t buy that. It was a requirement in the high school that I attended.
It’s a skill that I’m glad I have. Many times when I sit down at a keyboard and start hammering away, someone will comment on how fast I can type. I tell them I can go like the wnid, but ofetn I make a lot of misaktes.
OTOH, my wife was a true whiz on the manual typewriter. When she learned typing from Mrs. Volkert, she actually tested faster on a manual typewriter than an electric. She tested pretty regularly at over 100 word per minute with no errors.
When Mrs. Volkert forced her to use the electric typewriter, she complained to her dad, who happened to be principal of the high school. He consulted with the teacher and together they decided that my wife should continue to type on the electric.
And to this day, she is still has that skill. She tested for a word processing job recently and typed over 100 wpm with no errors.
She has a great time watching me type and then proofreading my stuff. She has a twisted sense of humor sometimes.
I didn’t write this book.
But any guy that designed a workout machine for Jackie Chan is pretty tops in my book. BTW: Jackie Chan is starring a new movie The Shinjuku Incident, for all you Jackie Chan movie buffs.
But I digress.
Do It or Age Quickly is by JB Berns.
JB Berns created the Urban Rebounder. You know, the little trampoline that is now in thousands of professional and home gyms…
JB Berns & Urban Rebounder
I’m sure this made him a rich man. If that didn’t the Jackie Chan Cable Flex System as seen on Tee Vee certain did.
I admire any Boomer that comes up basically a kids toy and a book full of little tidbits that are done in only Sixty seconds and can make a living.
Berns promises if you do his 21 recommendations, you will have better hair, better skin, better sex, less stress, lose weight, gain flexibility and be able to speak seven languages.
(I made up the part about the promise and the languages.)
You won’t buy into all his advice. Like I had a little trouble with a lot of his advice just because I’m that way.
He advises you on
- sleeping positions to improve your health
- how to sit in a chair
- how to exercise your guts and other body parts
- isometric exercise
- products that will improve your life and looks
- animal exercises
- getting stronger sex organs
- rebounding
- and of course diet
… and whole bunch of other stuff…
For example, he says during sex you should click or clench your teeth for healthier teeth. Thirty six times you should open and close your teeth at least 1/2 an inch. (Or you can do it when you poop too.) Nom. Nom. Nom. Oh. Yes. Yes. Yes.
But as with any self-help book, you can pick and choose which you wish to apply to your life. I like some of the stretching exercises and would wouldn’t love massaging oneself with a loofah for Sixty seconds?
I’ve incorporated many of JB Berns isometric exercises into my pre-lap swimming routine.
Yes, there are dirty drawings included. In the section on animal exercises, JB Berns illustrates the 12 acupuncture points around a vagina. I’m guessing he had some help in this area. He has no opinion on whether or not the G Spot really and truly exists.
And the correction position to massage a prostate gland is also illustrated.
Uck. Pass.
A big part of the book is recommendations on products JB Berns recommends to improve live better, stronger and longer.
This is a skimmable book, which I like. I figure if I grab some useful hints and tips (which I did) I’m ahead of where I started.
If I decide I need to kick Jackie Chan’s ass, I’ll have a reference book on how to get in shape. Which of course would end in me writing a book: I Did It and Died Quickly.
I’ve been listening to Rex Havens – a Christmas gift – and he’s a funny guy. He notes that in understanding women, there are only two lies a woman will tell to a man:
“Whatever makes you happy” and “Fine!”
Otherwise, the man is always wrong, and should never stop saying “I’m sorry.”
Those are the only things I’ve learned about men and women which are always true.
Love does not mean you never have to say you’re sorry.
If you’re a husband, love means you never STOP saying you’re sorry.
Love means a husband should start off each day with an apology before he even gets out of bed . . . for anything he did wrong in her dream. Because most every husband has been punished for fun he did not even have!!
This day I was wrong twice, but it had nothing to do with marriage – thank goodness.
First, remember when I thought I found an ab?
Wrong.
It was the bacon rising to the surface.
The second time was when I did a computer scan and restart and Magic Jack seemed to have died.
I almost just unplugged it and remained satisfied that I had a good run and didn’t pay that much for it anyway. But before I gave up, I gave it a half-assed hearted attempt to revive it.
Kind of like the commercial where the bunny is dead and the teacher rubs his hair with balloons to defibulate the critter.
First I reseated the USB plug. That’s tech talk for unplugged it and plugged it back in the same port.
Same message.
I got busy doing some meaningful things. (Buying new pants because my other pants are all too large! and releasing my inner Mark Phelps by doing some lap swimming!)
Next time I sat down and fired up the computer, Magic Jack tried to launch again and somehow their home page launched. There was an upgrade link, so I clicked it and Voila.
Magic Jack is still working like a charm.
I haven’t seen this one around for a while, but Avitable has decided to revive it. Then Grant did it too. Then Cynical Bastard did.
So, I figured I would too.
1. Go to the “Random Article” link on Wikipedia. Write down the title of the article. This is the name of your band.
2. Go to “Random Quotations” and the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days”. The third picture will be your album cover.
- Internal decapitation
- close-knit family in another city.
- Everybody is copyrighting their images, so my image was fifth.
Here are the previous two versions of this meme.
First…
Second…
