The Mental Part of Mowing

Since my wife had her leg amputated knee scoped to remove a piece of bone, it’s rained like crazy causing the grass to grow.  I like droughts, I don’t have crops, what do I care if my grass dries up and dies?  Anyway, I really really dislike mowing the yard.  We used to live in an area that had an association that mowed the grass and trimmed the shrubs. But we moved. So now grass mowing is back on the agenda. She will mow a lot of the time, but then the guilt sits in when they see this boomer woman out mowing the grass.  I know the neighbors talk.

Anyway, why I really hate mowing is not the physical part.  Its the only exercise I get.  But I hate, really really hate the mental part of mowing.  I’m walking around the yard guiding a mower, so what is there left to do but think?

  • …I’m glad she talked me into the electric start mower
  • …dam, I guess you have to prime it ten times
  • …I need to mow the other way so the grass doesn’t clump
  • …I guess I should have picked up the sticks first
  • …it only costs $4 to get the blade sharpened
  • …but it sure is a pain to take it off
  • …I still think the mower is set too low
  • …that tree is growing good
  • …I should have put keywords with that data
  • …why dumbass, that looks like stupid fish
  • …why not dumass
  • …demitasse
  • Alexander Dumass
  • …I wish we didn’t move out of the condo
  • …no, don’t leave that little bit you missed, go back and get it
  • …I could blog about this
  • …never remember it all
  • …might
  • …I guess kids don’t mow grass anymore because there are so many adults doing it
  • …that will put a big ding in it
  • …don’t forget to do the part you always forget to do
  • …why do some guys seem to enjoy doing this
  • …will she be proud that I got the part that I always forget
  • …will she even notice
  • …should she be expected to notice
  • …do you notice when she makes the bed
  • …yeah but the condo association always mowed the yard before you wanted to move
  • …boy is she in for it when she gets home
  • …wonder why other guys like to blow the grass off their driveways
  • …hope that doesn’t loosen the mailbox
  • …dam bug flew right in my mouth
  • …never tasted it
  • I should have made a reference to Wagner’s thing that was in Apocalypse Now
  • …Die Fleedermouse (1)
  • …kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit
  • …that would have been good to add too
  • …I should have thrown that empty milk jug at that car for speeding by me
  • …should I do the backyard too?
  • …won’t take long
  • …that will be OK to meet them at the 4th concert
  • …what do you take to a band concert to eat
  • …drumsticks
  • …it’s funny how Sofi isn’t afraid of the mower and Sedona is (2)
  • …hope that turd doesn’t splatter
  • …good
  • …remember that for blog
  • …I wonder if meanteacher will be offended about the scrubs thing
  • …was that too personal
  • …guess I should have done a poop walk
  • …that will put a ding in it
  • …thirsty
  • …mower should start OK if I stop for a minute
  • …electric start is great
  • …no cold water
  • …where was it I read that the city was outlawing buying bottled water (3)
  • …tap water is OK
  • …sure is cool in here
  • …there’s that guy that Lifehacker says they play in background because his voice is so soothing (4)
  • …I miss the “mighty vite” guy
  • …started right up, good deal that electric start
  • …how cool is it that Del got a patent on his electric mower panel
  • …I wonder if he’s set for life now
  • …it’s going to be big
  • …perfect timing, perfect market
  • …wonder why turds get hard
  • …she’s home
  • …I need to get gas
  • …carry stuff in

Footnotes:

(1) That’s not the opera. Not even spelled right.

(2) Sofi is a dog weighing four pounds, Sedona is a dog weighing 65 pounds.

(3) I sure as heck didn’t read it in the Souix City Journal.

(4) (glanced at TV while drinking water) I guess it wasn’t Lifehacker because I kinda looked and couldn’t find it. But it is true that somebody does this.

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Comments

The Mental Part of Mowing — 3 Comments

  1. I’m one of those weird ones that likes to mow the lawn Oddly though, my internal dialogue is the same.

  2. Ya know, while watching my husband mow the other day I wondered what in the world he thinks about. Now, I think I have a better idea.