Vice president Dick Cheney was killed today for his own good.  Experts said The Dick was woefully out of rhythm. They will debate whether or not to resurrect his lifeless body. The odds are 3:2 in favor.

President Bush was not expected to be there for this routine procedure. He is expected to be in attendance if the record is broken.

In order to break the record, Cheney has to have an appendectomy, lumpectomy, mastectomy, prostatemy hystrectomy, and tonsillectomy.

Let us spray.