Incarcerated? Use Your Cell Phone.

Man with knife tries to rob bank. Guards have guns. Jailarity ensues…


Folks in the free world may chatter all they like about Apple’s sleek new iPhone, but citizens on lockdown must rely on more antiquated forms of communication.

Inventive inmates at facilities around the country speak jail cell-to-jail cell using their commodes, a phenomenon known to wardens, correctional officers and attorneys as “toilet talk.”

OMG, there are just so many ways to go with this post. All of them bad. So let’s have fun in the comments. Here are a couple beginners… Toilet talk, the new T-mobile… ATT is Craptastic… more?

UPDATE: check out the toilet snorkle at

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Incarcerated? Use Your Cell Phone. — 6 Comments

  1. Hey, 60! It doesn’t work.

    I drained the water out of my toilet and shouted your name until I passed out from the fumes. You never answered…….

  2. Just EWWWW! Even when I am sick and in the throes of worshipping the porcelain god, I won’t touch the nasty thing. I have perfected the hands-free, long-distance barf. I’d talk to myself before I’d talk through a toilet.

    I was hoping I could come up with something pithy (or pissy) and clever, but I ain’t got sh*t.

  3. I agree, barf in a wastebasket is my first choice.
    You think about a clever retort for the post and come back later, K?