If you want to improve your self esteem, don’t do these seven things:

1. Self deprecation - when you make a joke at your expense
2. Self depreciation - when you choose to be unhealthy
3. Self defecation - when you are a dumb shit
4. Self denigration - when you tell someone else what a jerk you are
5. Self defamation - when you call yourself names aloud
6. Self debilitation - when you drink to much
7. Self disintegration - when you die

To elaborate:

Just the other day I said:

I’m so ugly I had to walk into a bar by myself. The bartender said why the long face and I said because I’m a horse. I told him I also was a horse’s ass and never pay my bar bills. “What an asshat I am,” I muttered. After the tenth beverage, I died.

Why aren’t there any good blogger/blogging jokes?