Dear Tennessee Performing Arts Center,

Bite me.

I got the email today that you sponsored that said in part:

For those of you looking to mix and mingle with other young professionals who support and enjoy the performing arts…

IT’S PERFECT FOR:

• Date Nights
• Corporate Client Entertaining
• Networking
• Expanding Your Peer Group

Yeah, well guess whut, I’m not young. Our date nights are matinees. I don’t entertain clients at TPAC. The only network I really care about anymore is wireless. My peer group is near death.

So I unsubscribed to the email list you sponsored, nyah.