Special Dunder Mifflin New Employee Incentives

For those of you who have yet to sign up to work for me at the Pine Bluff branch of Dunder Mifflin, you obviously are waiting for some kind of special incentive. Not like the other losers folks who have agreed already.

For those who need incentive, I have arranged for Target to carry The Office office supplies at a super low price of only $1.00, so you will be prepared for your first day on the job.

Buy whatever you want, and hang on to the receipts, there will be a special drawing after our first month in operation.

I am hoping that Violent Acres may consider being our day care supervisor since Grandad wants the Violence in the Workplace job.

I have developed a seething hatred for the creepy little fuck that lives next door.

I’m serious. This little shit-for-brains has absolutely zero redeemable qualities. He’s dumb. He’s rude. He’s ill behaved. He picks his nose. He’s socially inept. Rather than call you by your name, he’ll instead opt to scream ‘HEY! HEY! HEY!’ at you until you answer him. Hell, he’s not even particularly attractive.

BTW: I would like to have a motto to help launch our branch. We don’t have a receptionist/marketing person hired yet, so if you have ideas, please let me know.

Love Warmly Regards,


(acting Supreme Commander of the Arkansas Forces.)

UPDATE: Dunder-Mifflin 2.0 will be launching soon. I’m not screwing around with it. They had their chance. Love the program, won’t miss a show and will watch webisodes too.  But as far as their stupid little social network gimmick. They can piss off. That’s what she said.

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Special Dunder Mifflin New Employee Incentives — 6 Comments

  1. I always like this quote from Angela of The Office:

    “It’s raining poop.”

    I could see employees of the new branch office needing hip-waders with all the sh** flowing. Perhaps hip-waders should be the required office attire.

  2. How could you go outside the family for a receptionist – I can sit with 4 inch heels (probably not able to walk in them anymore!) and I can definitely wear low cut tops – no one will see my butt – because I’m just sitting!

    Nancys last blog post..Ever been to a Yarn Tasting?