Thirteen Things That Mark Me as an Old Man

Goddammit.

It’s started. All the little things that mark an old man.

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  • hair is growing out the top of my nose – no, not nostrils, on the end. I’ve been trimming ear and nose hair for a long time. Sometimes I pluck, sometimes I use an electric trimmer. I would never let anyone pluck my nose hair.

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  • my right hand is shaky. When I pick up a forkful of Apple Pie my hand visibly shakes. I haven’t missed my mouth yet, but it’s coming. Healthy young people’s hands don’t shake.

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  • I just noticed today that I have that almost imperceptible and uncontrollable head shake that old people have.

Scalawag wrote about some other signs that I also have.
Goddammit.

UPDATE: You’re old when the first birthday card you get is from your hearing aid company.

5 Responses to “Thirteen Things That Mark Me as an Old Man”


  • It sucks getting older. Though I have been trying to stop the process. I took the ladies favorite way of stopping aging. They quit counting at thirtynine, I decided why wait that long, I quit counting at 29 abd holding! ;-)

  • Maybe your just excited about the apple pie? :) … Good luck with that nose hair!

  • @theScoundrel: ya see? here’s the deal – you can stop counting, or even think you are younger, but your body betrays you. How can a shakey fart with hair on his nose still think he is 30?

    @Kimberly: well good luck with that bikini wax there kiddo.

  • The minute I had to get bifocals I knew I was in trouble with the 29 deal. But I am still in good enough condition not many can call me on the age thing. Though the last couple of years things have been going down hill more quickly. I know spend more time on the Internet than I do chasing women. That is the killer sign of aging. ;-)

  • I’m a trifocal man myself. I’m soooooooo married, if I run across a naked woman in my RSS feed, I feel guilty.

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