We’re Not Gardeners So We’re Not Sure How to Tell it’s Ripe


We’re not good at growing things at our house. We do OK with the indestructible plants, philodendron and cacti and those ones with the big leaves that get real droopy but perk right up when they get water.

Now we have something growing that has to ripen. We’re not sure how to know when it’s ready.

Best Half is growing a cataract in one eye.

Do I thump her on the head occassionally? Will her skin change color? She already has brown spots.

Maybe I need to squeeze her head regularly? Will she smell differently? She doesn’t have a stem.

I think she is fully mature. Certainly more mature than I.

I guess I’ll believe the iDoc when he says her cataract is ripe. Sure would be handy if she had a little pop-out gizmo like our turkey.

This all just background to tell you one of my Mother’s favorite jokes. It is so racially insensitive it’s impossible. That didn’t stop her. Plus being PC wasn’t in full swing when she was alive, and she never forgave “the Japs” for Pearl Harbor.

Two Japanese golfers were comparing luxury cars. “Cataract?” said one. “No, Rinkin.” said the other. “Rots of Ruck.” first guy says.

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