What Doesn’t HR Get About PMS?

I think PMS should qualify as short term disability. For me at least, I don’t like anybody, I don’t like anything, and I would like to hide and give into every craving I have (chocolate and something salty, always!).

Ok so I’m going through some MAJOR cramps, as i usuallly do each month. It is really painful and I am tired and semi-irritable. The problem is, the world doesn’t just stop because I’m having cramps. I have SO much to do and while I would love to stay in bed and sleep them off while having tea, I can’t.

I am on my period. No I’m not. I am on my period. No I’m not. I am on my period. No I’m not. Get the idea? Seasonique, all the PMS none of the bleeding. Maybe this will work out. No blood is good blood. But the PMS and cramps? Don’t know, maybe that will go away too. Just spotting as of now. Interesting.

It’s a wonder there are any men still walking upright. Most should be doubled over from being punched in the nads by a female between the ages of what? Eleven? and Sixty? If guys had regular pain like women describe, we would be in the fetal position or lined up at the gun counters – hell the RPG counters.

So why don’t HR departments recognize this and give extra days off to women? Name me one job where you want a woman at work who is feeling like this? Waitress? Pilot? Lawyer? Nurse? Cop? Clerk? HR? CEO? POTUS?

This doesn’t deal with the issue of going through menopause either.

Holy Cripes, now who gets my vote for President?


UPDATE: For any readers who are PMSing, this was not meant to be funny. No way.  I promise.

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What Doesn’t HR Get About PMS? — 8 Comments

  1. Glad to know someone’s looking…and paying attention to the perils of being a woman!! And do you want to know another side to all this? We are the blessed ones who get to experience hours of agonizing childbirth and delivery!

  2. One’s cycles get more vicious as one gets older. Makes me long for menopause. Actually I had hoped to go directly from lactational amenorrhea while nursing Julia to menopause and skip the menstrual thing altogether, but God is laughing at me.

    Whoever named it “the curse” wasn’t fucking kidding. Worse, at 47 I am still fertile as hell, so I have to be careful lest I end up pregnant AGAIN.

  3. Sweetie, the last thing I need right now is more hormonal fluctuations. I’ve spent most of the past 8 years pregnant, nursing or both (3 kids and 3 miscarriages) and my poor body doesn’t know which end is up. I’m afraid to stir the soup anymore!

  4. You are correct about having the option, but there is no other way to describe it other than it just sucks. No man can equate it to anything possible that may make him uncomfortable. The good news is that they make high doses of ibuprofen and acetaminophen to deal with the pain. BC can be a difficult decisionfor women. on that issue i personally struggle because i don’t want to cause any damage my ability to have children. thank you for shedding light on the topic,t though. It is something worth discussion among HR personnel. (PS, I think the whole equal opportunity thing stands in the way of women”s monthlies not being recognized as being short term.)

  5. @Lori: Well I think the law should be changed for women of child bearing years. They deserve special treatment. (You would think I have a PMSing woman in the house wouldn’t you.)
    I’m still trying to worm my way into Blogher.org! 🙂

  6. there’s a new birth control pill that only gives you a period once every three months and I must say its great!!! I’ve even noticed my PMS isn’t as bad when it is time.