That’s got to be it, right? How could one woman screw up two daughters so badly unless she was a mommy-blogger.

I read a few mommy bloggers regularly (one tries not to be, but her kids keep getting in the way) because they can be so darn entertaining.

But it struck me that they could be responsible for the next generation of ne’re do wells.

• Mommy bloggers seem to drink a lot. And take pride in lying to their children.
• They are providing porn to children.
• Mommies are insensitive to the pain they cause their children.

“They’ll have to be cut out, right?” He whirled around at me and said, “We prefer not to use the word ‘cut’ around the children.”

• Sucking the fun out of life’s pleasures is an ongoing goal.
• Passing along the evil gene that inspires offspring to launch vast a network of mommy-bloggers.

My name is Joy Des Jardins…and I’m a Blogoholic. I come to you totally open and a little bit skeptical that I deserve to even be here; but here I am nonetheless. (Daughter Jory is a founder of Blogher.org)

• They advocate plopping kids down in front of cartoons as desirable. When that’s not possible, the mommy makes up the kid’s game.
  

“Well….” I started, “What if you were all princes and princesses of a magical kingdom? And what if your Mother and Father, the King and Queen, were killed by a terrible wizard named Trent. And after they died, the Evil Trent crowned himself the new King and enslaved all the people in your Kingdom.”

• Some state unequivocally in their blog header the projectiles that rushed from their wombs may not belong to them.

If Mary was a blogger, Jesus wouldn’t have stood a chance. Not that he had a charmed life anyway as it turns out, but you know what I mean.

Bookmark It