Boomers Unite, They Are After Our Money. First, We Kill All the Buckeyes.

Snuffing the life candle of the residents of Ohio, should be a solution to something. The population of the state is somewhere over 3,000 and probably less than a googol (not to be confused with Google ™ )

If we bump them all off, at the very least, the rest of us could seize their assets before those Batty Buckeye Boomers give it all away to their lazy Xers.

More than $1 trillion could change hands by 2055 as Ohioans who reaped the benefits of post-World War II prosperity pass their assets to another generation.

They apparently don’t have any decent economists in oHIo, because a bunch of Cornhuskers did the study.

The report by the Rural Policy Research Institute Center for Rural Entrepreneurship in Lincoln, Neb., offers plausible scenarios, not guaranteed figures, said Richard Gardner, senior fellow and project coordinator.

The fellows (heh- female fellows) at the RPRICRE say that in 48 years a whole lot of assets will be changing hands and that means the Goose is squatting for the charities. Well it’s a “plausible scenario” they will get the Golden Egg. I love consultant speak.

“It’s a call to action,” said Cara Dingus Brook, chief executive and president of the Foundation for Appalachian Ohio. “Think of what could happen if you could capture a small piece of this intergenerational transfer.”

Brook said that with the extreme need in the area, building endowments aimed at resolving long-term community problems is critical.

You betcha Cara Dingus Brook. Never mind that Ohio Boomers have been paying huge amounts of taxes for community problems for decades. Go after their assets too.

So we croak all Buckeyes, distribute the wealth according to the Pre-Ordained Plan to the rest of us Boomers in other states, and we can continue to control destiny.

OR…

Plan B: a Buckeye Boomer can only leave money to a lazy Xer who doesn’t live in Ohio. That would give the other 48 50 49 states a nice boost in their economies.

Killing all the Boomers isn’t the answer. Incentivizing Boomers to commit suicide at a certain age isn’t the answer.

The answer lies in this question: Can you put your finger on Ohio on a globe and name a product made in Ohio that the world needs. (Robin Meade doesn’t count.)

No?

I rest my case.

Denny Crane.

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Comments

Boomers Unite, They Are After Our Money. First, We Kill All the Buckeyes. — 2 Comments

  1. You baby boomers have f*d our country worse than any generation in American history. We should take that bail out, save it for the x & Y generation in 30 years and let you f*ups go back to work and live in the places you have bankrupted – both morally and financially. You’ve screwed this country and I for one have no qualms letting you suffer your own consequences.

    Take all of the reasons that divide the rest of us and throw them off the back of the ship. Everyone should unify pointing at the boomers. Atheistic greedy narcos.

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