Nancy has acid reflux, really bad.
Now the doc wants to perform a gut check – on her for her GERD.
Remember the movie Innerspace? Where Dennis Quaid is shrunk and supposed to get injected into a rabbit but ends up in Martin Short?
Well it’s like that.
He wants to put Dennis Quaid in her esophagus to hang there for a while and watch the food and acid flow by. He will transmit to a thingy that she has to wear. Then Dennis will “slough off” and exit via her poop chute.
The Bravo system involves a pH capsule, about the size of a gel cap, that is temporarily attached to the wall of the esophagus. The Bravo™ pH Capsule measures pH levels in the esophagus and transmits readings via radio telemetry to the Bravo™ Receiver worn on the patient’s belt or waistband.
We have her gall stones, a dogs kidney stones, a dogs baby teeth. Tried to get her unborn twin, but HIPPA or ASCAP or somebody objected.
I asked if I could have her capsule.
“Well Pilgrim, you can pick the peanuts from my shit if you want.”
Nah, she didn’t say that, but pretty close.
That would be some collection in the old candy bowl.
@nessa: I would have it refurbed.
It is quite a collection – great for Halloween decor. I also have my tonsils somewhere around here, just can’t quite put my fingers on them!
This only happens if the insurance approves it – they are balking, but golly, gee, Medicaid approves it! You know how insurance companies are…..it’s all in the wording…..those that pass “the wording test”, get it, those that don’t are refused! Damn insurance companies!!!
I don’t have anything cool like that. Maybe I should start swallowing random stuff. I want to be cool, too!
@Mr. Fab: anybody else but you, I would say have at it. But I’ve read about and seen what you do (and will be doing) to your body. So I would say “no.”
Now I wish I’d kept my gall stones.
@Edna: they are quite a conversation piece!
Well whaddayah know? That sure beats having the VA stuffing a 4 foot piece of line down my esophagus and having to go on with my “normal routine” with a piece of linguini hanging out my nose and running down to a device the size of an old Sony Walkman for 24 hours.
Anyway, good luck with getting it approved.
Kirk: ewwwww, will keep you appraised of the developing gut check.