“Just Call Me Dick” I Hope You Die Soon.

This guy is planning his death. He wants an Islamic funeral, and now I do too. I used to think a wake would be fun. But there is nothing more fitting than an pissed off bunch of guys just going totally balls-to-the-wall crazy.

Then have a wake.

I want radical fundamentalists to storm into my room the moment I die and place my dead, rotting body on a stretcher. Since I am American, it would be most appropriate to wrap an American flag around me. A crowd must form around my house, and it should be very difficult for the pallbearers to transport my body out of the house. The crowd needs to be hostile and unpredictable. There should be no clear leader, but at the same time everyone should seem to know where my body goes and generally transport me in that direction.

Read the rest here. 

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Comments

“Just Call Me Dick” I Hope You Die Soon. — 4 Comments

  1. Personally, I always wanted a Viking funeral like in the old movie with Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas. They wrap your body in animal skins, put it in a Viking ship, and push the ship out into the water. Then they all shoot flaming arrows at the boat and scream “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN” at the top of their lungs. Then they all go get piss-drunk for a month on great big horns of mead.

    Now THAT’s a funeral!

  2. @Brian: yeah, yeah, I’m with you. That would be awesome too. Hard to get a bunch of Vikings together anymore. But you can find pissed off guys just about anywhere around my neighborhood.