“The Bucket List” is Stupid Concept: Here’s My Bucket List


I’ve seen the trailers for The Bucket List and I have no desire to see the movie. Love Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, two of the very best actors.

It seems to me they did this one for the money. There were probably others, but this one just seems so contrived.

I’m not going to review a movie I haven’t seen. So let’s just take the concept of “the bucket list.”

First, I hope this doesn’t make it into the hullabaloo surrounding Boomers. A spate of “what’s on your bucket list?” questions from the gossip TV and rags. But I’m predicting it will.

Second, the idea that any person reaches a point in their life and still can come up with a list of things they always wanted to do, is ridiculous.

If I want to do something bad enough, I will do it. OR I will decide that this will always be an unfulfilled dream and move on. To hold on to something one’s whole life and then on your deathbed decide it must be done is ludicrous.

Unlike travel for mere Transportation Security Administration-screened mortals, this pair goes everywhere on Nicholson’s private jet — which would carry a price tag of at least $54,000 each for the journey they took.

So, how much would it cost to do the “Bucket List” itinerary in style? Not counting the cost of a tattoo (we’re not going there), it’s about $105,730 for two — and that’s if you stay in each place longer than a Hollywood scene change.

Alas, we are in for a deluge of Bucket List questions.

Here’s my (ha!) Bucket List:

  • Piss on the ankle of a dead Bin Laden – any of them – doesn’t have to be Osama.
  • See the POTUS fall of a horse and be paralyzed from the mouth down.
  • Be invited to the Googleplex campus as a guest speaker (or employee, hi Sergey and Brin.)
  • Hang with K-Fed and the kids and play Chutes and Ladders and drink Kool-aid.
  • Spend a day in Sugar Tit, Kentucky.

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Comments

“The Bucket List” is Stupid Concept: Here’s My Bucket List — 13 Comments

  1. JESUS CHRIST! Peeing on a dead body like that opens a door to hell! Haven’t you watched enough Poltergeist movies to know the rules about messing with dead bodies!??!

    Hey… Does Morgan Freeman do his annoying “Shawshank Redemption” type narration throughout the entire movie? I bet no. I bet Jack wouldn’t have any part of that.

  2. I’ve got to see the movie, precisely because of Jack and Morgan. Even if it sucks and they did it just for the money…

    Hmmm… like your list, especially those first two. I might add having coffee and donuts at The Donut Den with Fred Thompson after he falls out of the campaign. And I would like him to bring all the other Republican candidates with him, since they will have fallen out, failed, lost also. I know I wish for the impossible, but I also want them to sit still and keep their damn mouths shut while I tell them what a bunch of Bush clone idiots they are…

  3. @Richard: Yeah, I watched all the Poltergeist movies. Nobody peed on a dead body. They were in the swimming pool. Oh, maybe the pee in the pool?
    I didn’t see the movie, so I don’t know about the narration. I like his voice – it made March of the Penguins better.
    @Winston: I didn’t want to focus entirely on politics. Not my thang.

    (damn, gotta get that CSS fixed so I can read the comments! I apologize again!)

  4. I kinda like the idea of having a bucket list.
    I’m turning 38 on Friday, and suddenly am thinking of all these things I want to do while I’m still 37….

  5. Sugar Tit? For real? I thought my favorite US city name was Bad Axe, Michigan. Until now.

    Was that in my favorite book, “All Over the Map”?

  6. 🙁 I’m disappointed. Here I thought for sure you’d spin the bucket, hee-hee, and make it a list of “things you put in a bucket”, “take out of a bucket”, “do with a bucket”, or some such. Did you take a convention-al pill?

  7. See? I think that’s what’s wrong with a bucket list. I’ll never remember where I put it. Or I’ll be too decrepit to tinkle on Bin Laden rather than myself.

  8. I want to sleep with Selma Hayek, Marisa Tomei, or Nicole Kidman. That’s my list. To me, a bucket list should be a wish list. Something more for the imagination and pleasant day dreams. Like buying a lottery ticket.