Dumbest Oscar Award: The Envelope Please.

The dumbest award the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences gives out is the Oscar for Best Costume Design.

The Oscar was won this year by somebody who designed the costumes for a movie about some queen sometime someplace.

costume.jpg

I could do this, and I’m not gay.

However, it would require me to get up out of the recliner and actually go to the low tech library. Remember those? Big buildings with books?

I would get a picture book of from any period of British Royalty and tell all the sewers (well what is the PC word for seamstresses?) So-ers to make something like the pictures only not as ugly and not as details. All the details stuff can be added with computer generated images.

The fabric would come from any upholstery shop in the neighborhood.

Voila.

The Oscar for Best Costume Design Goes to Going Like Sixty. 

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Comments

Dumbest Oscar Award: The Envelope Please. — 18 Comments

  1. Good Lord, you are so right — the winner is always some stupid period piece (or Period Piece of Shit, as I call them). “Toys” and “Pleasantville” were nominated, but didn’t win, in their years (looked this up on Wiki).

    And yeah, it’s a gay award. No heterosexual male would concentrate so hard on clothes. I have trouble getting my husband to remember to put his pants on.

  2. Yeah, except I admit I’m a sucker for ogling the costumes from the 30s 40s 50s. I’m a sentimentalist, I guess.

    How about some new awards instead — like best product positioning, most unlikely trailer preview, lowest budget, ugliest face, least historically accurate biopic.. and all the “worst” of. Instead of the Oscars we could call them the Grouches.

  3. Actually I’m really psyched about this new awards idea (like the IgNobel Awards, my favorites.) I wonder, does something like this exist already?

  4. @Polly: yes, it exists: it’s called the Razzies. Lohan was a sweep this year.
    @Frances, great! Thanks for the comment compliment. Hope you will be a regular.

  5. Yep, Lindsay aced the Razzies; coulda seen that one coming a mile away.

    La Lohan is the latest contender for the hypothetical Michael Jackson Award — you know, the one where you’re more famous for being fucked up than for any singing or acting you’ve done lately. Britney Spears is on that list, too.

  6. Anna Nicole (1) fucked a billionaire (2) posed naked for Playboy (3) appeared in silhouette with a prosthetic phallus in a Naked Gun movie.

  7. No, I like the white block. It’s like where the teacher marks your papers in red at school. It’s easy to identify the Voice of God. Plus, it matches your cracker ass. 🙂

  8. That’s okay, I see quite enough white male ass at my house. When my husband gets out of the shower, my kids gather ’round to point and laugh at his ass. (What he doesn’t realize is that they do it because I’ve been secretly coaching them.)

  9. I must be the only Un-American one here. I gave up watching the Oscars years ago once it became a political arena for the Hollywood elite to stand up and pontificate to the rest of us ‘common folk’ how we should be thinking.

  10. @Elaine: I didn’t watch. It’s the worst produced show on television. And I didn’t like the rants either. and the music that everybody ignored when ran long.

  11. Well, I understand that you think the award is stupid but I think the designer of the costumes for The Lion King deserved every accolade given. Those were just unbelievable!