A Boomer’s Suggested Names for “Adult Day Care”

This executive is stuck for a name for an adult day care center.

When I think of day care, I think of the place that I drop my child off in the morning. There has to be other, better names for this growing service. Any ideas?

Not that I would care what the name of the place I was “dumped” for the day, but I thought this was a challenge I would accept.

The name of the place should have appeal to the “dumpers” rather than the “dumpees.” People that need day care don’t think they need day care. The place will be hated even if it is called “We Cater to Your Every Human Need and Desire.”

Looking at this from a man’s perspective is probably best. Women are easy when it comes to names because it just has to be cute.

But guys don’t want to drop their Dads off at someplace like: Jesus Gardens, or We Love Them Too, or Karen’s Caretakers, etc. The guys are thinking the old dude still has some pride, so I want to drop him someplace that doesn’t sound like a day care center.

Places that sound like a strip club:

  • Just Pasteurize
  • Short Time Stadium
  • Stroker’s Pavilion
  • Leakers
  • Paul Bearer’s Playground (could have cemetery in back too)

Places that sound educational:

  • Areally BoreUrAss
  • Lettuce, Turnip & Pea
  • Oxidized Octogenarians
  • Sublime Unconsciousness
  • Just Pasteurize

Accurately Descriptive:

  • Flatulence City – not to be confused with Spatula City
  • Another Damn Day Who Cares (the staff would all go by names of the week)
  • Mutual Mucus
  • Pallor, Palsied and Pacified
  • Phallus Palace
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Comments

A Boomer’s Suggested Names for “Adult Day Care” — 3 Comments

  1. Okay accurate or not….that last batch kind of ‘ooged me out.’ Did YOU come up with all of these gems? I think your brain is working well beyond a place where many of us dare not go.

  2. It is usually called “elder care” now. Being a woman, I don’t like any of your suggestions. I think, for men, it should have a sort of English clubby sound, don’t you? A place where men sit around all day and smoke pipes and settle the affairs of the world…

  3. @Joy: all material on my blog is original, unless it’s not. Snowbound Weekends tend to drive my mind to unusual places.
    @Suburbancorrespondent: Being a man, I didn’t think women would like any of these suggestions. English Clubby Sound? Stroker’s Pavilion doesn’t sound clubby?