Irish Death Ray Pointed at U.S.; Canucks Conspire; We Will All Die Soon. Part II


More secretions from Republic of Ireland have come into my possession. While Grandad was supposedly attending a shindig in his honor, (aka WR 104) it appears that he was in fact devising a new plan along with the Embassy of Canuckastan to shoot a death ray at Kentucky.

Reports from the village near Grandad confirm winning this “major award” has gone to his head. Sightings of Grandad with sunglasses on top of his head indicate he feels star-like qualities. He was a co-winner with Grannymar, but her state remains relatively stable. However, she refers today to a recorded message, which may have unknown clues.

This is the secretion which was intercepted. (Substitute “Grandad” for Wolf-Rayet, a clever anagram for WTF a-hole!)

Both the massive stars in WR 104 will one day explode as supernovae. However, one of the pair is a highly unstable star known as a Wolf-Rayet, the last known stable phase in the life of these massive stars right before a supernova.

“Wolf-Rayet are regarded … as ticking bombs,” Tuthill explained. The ‘fuse’ for this star “is now very short — to an astronomer — and it may explode any time …”

When the Wolf-Rayet goes supernova, “it could emit an intense beam of gamma rays coming our way,” Tuthill said. “If such a ‘gamma ray burst’ happens, we really do not want Earth to be in the way.”

Since the initial blast would travel at the speed of light, there would be no warning of its arrival.

It seems that Grandad could not be so bright, but better safe than sorry.

This targeting device (above) is currently being smuggled into Canada.

On my mark: duck assholes!

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Irish Death Ray Pointed at U.S.; Canucks Conspire; We Will All Die Soon. Part II — 6 Comments