Mar

Violent Acres: Third Part of Training Children

Posted by: goinglikesixty in Violent Acres Comments

Violent Acres is feeling well enough to jump on her soap box again and tell you how to train your kids.

She has four more methods outlined.

It’s far easier to shape good behavior than it is to manage bad behavior. If you want well behaved children, you’ve got to reward them when they’re behaving correctly. And yes, sometimes that means you have to reward behaviors such as ‘not fighting’ or ‘being quiet.’

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13 comments so far

Gretchen

I like VA, but I really have a hard time with the word “training” when it comes to children. Teaching, yah. “Training” sounds too Pavlovian, too much like puppy obedience school. But I am one of these wacky attachment parenting types.

I completely agree with her about reinforcing good behavior though. When I notice my kids doing the right thing, I do make a point to say “Hey, thanks for putting your clothes in the hamper instead of throwing them on the floor. That helps me.”

March 11th, 2008 at 10:52 am

goinglikesixty

@Gretchen: I don’t get too hung up on the semantics because I figure it’s a little bit of baiting to refer to “training” instead of “teaching.” But we do potty-train our kids.

March 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Gretchen

See, we don’t potty train either. I find that if you wait until a kid is ready to go to the toilet instead of pressing the issue, there’s no stopping them; there’s no training. Boolie is still in diapers, but Erika, Sam and Matt all did it on their own, virtually overnight, straight from diapers into underwear with almost no “accidents”.

Told you I was a freakin’ hippie.

March 11th, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Gretchen

Oh, and funny potty story: When Sam first learned the power of standing up to pee, he one day demonstrated that he was angry with me by taking down the Mother’s Day card he had made for me, placing it on the living room floor, and urinating all over it.

March 11th, 2008 at 1:09 pm

goinglikesixty

@Gretchen: Boy, your oldest must have been a pistol to mellow you out so much.
Peeing on your Mother’s Day card is pretty clever.

March 11th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Queen of Shake Shake

Her techniques are reasonable when you are raising the typical kid. Not so applicable for those of us raising the something more than the average Joe or Jane.

I have a friend who was all about telling people how they should be raising their kids right. See, she had a daughter that was so typical and the average child. Gosh, Mrs. S sure knew what SHE was doing and if everyone did it just like her, they’d have the perfectly behaved kid like hers!

Then her son came along 5 years later and let’s just say he’s another one of those bright kids. Yeah, she realized real quick like what an obnoxious know it all she was in the previous 5 years.

March 11th, 2008 at 2:10 pm

goinglikesixty

@Queen of Shake Shake: “one of those bright kids.” Please elaborate so I can understand your point.

March 11th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Queen of Shake Shake

I’m talking about kids who are born different. They have a different intelligence than the norm, are divergent, intense, sensitive, and are just plain different to raise. I know because I have two of each.

My youngest son is the typical child and VA’s parenting advice would totally work on him. My oldest son, ain’t no way in hell.

I don’t know how to explain these “bright kids” exactly because just having a higher intelligence isn’t all there is to it. They are much more complex than the average child and take a different type of parenting. But I’m sure Thomas Edison’s mother would know exactly what I’m talking about.

March 11th, 2008 at 3:10 pm

goinglikesixty

@Queen of Shake Shake: Thanks, that helps. I need to dig into your archives to understand even more, which I will do.

March 11th, 2008 at 3:14 pm

Queen of Shake Shake

You don’t have to do much digging. It’s in my left sidebar, a collection of posts I wrote trying to figure out my son.

March 11th, 2008 at 4:27 pm

goinglikesixty

@Queen of Shake Shake: OK Thanks, that’s the problem with RSS feeds. I need to stop in once in a while to see what’s on your site.

March 11th, 2008 at 5:29 pm

Gretchen

About my oldest: YOU HAVE NO IDEA. That girl is from the devil. Of course, I am immensely proud of her.