Whilst awaiting the pork ribs to cook on the grill, and watching Derby munch grass because he has a upset stomach, I have solved the economic woes of our country.
You are very welcome.
Here is the answer: the one true answer. It will lead to lower production costs for consumer goods, and higher productivity for the American worker, and raise revenue for the gummit.
Stop putting protective seals on every consumable product.
I came to this blinding flash of brilliance after I opened the third package that was impenetrable without a sharp object. No fingernail, no thumb or finger could pierce the kyptonite enhanced layer between me and my Duo-Core Feces Fluffer or my Prince Pork Rib Rub or my Treble Tri-Coat Translucent Injectable Pepto-Bismal. All essential when I consume large quantities of ribs.
Twenty years ago, 1987, se7en people died in the Chicago area because someone put cyanide in a Tylenol capsule. Tylenol went on to capture a 92% market share of the capsule market via Tylenol Gel Caps.
Nobody else has ever died of product tampering again. Nobody. The perp was never caught.
14 million people have died from smoking cigarettes. (Do the soft packs still have that little zippy strippy thing around the top to make it easy to remove the thinnest packaging -cellophane -ever developed by man?)
16 million have died or been injured from alcohol related traffic accidents. I know toddlers that can fetch and open beer cans. Those handy pop top containers! Ever notice that liquor bottles don’t have child proof caps?
187 have died from Bi-lingual Radical Ketosis of the Pituitary. Is there a tamper proof cap on access to your Pituitary?
It is imperative that the AFofL/FCC/FDABCDGoldfish or Homeland Security immediately issue an executive order that products can be sold in tamperable packaging if the buy has a license approved by the TSA/CIA/ADA/FMA/AAA.
Thank you for your support.