Remember college? If no, skip the rest, if yes, remember drinking games? Quincy? Quarters? Beer Pong?

Sometimes it rains when a round of golf is scheduled or in progress. No biggie, keep playing. But when the lightning comes, boomer golfers head for the clubhouse where the TV usually has a golf tournament playing or re-playing. That electricity in the air is hell on pace-makers.

Here’s a game to play while watching the tournament:

Geezer Golf Guzzling

(Guzzling can be redefined to drinking or tipping or sipping if needed because everyone is on Wellbutrin, Cialis or FloMax.)

Equipment needed: Beer and bourbon and bucks and beer nuts. TV with Tivo for disputed calls.

• “Get in the hole” - said on television.  Everybody takes a sip of beer. This will happen on every tee shot, so this just keeps everyone drinking.
• “Get in the hole” - said by anyone in the clubhouse. Doesn’t not apply for any other comments regarding any other life situations. Shot of bourbon.
• Analyst says sand shot is the easiest shot in golf: Shot of bourbon, chug what’s left of beer.
• “Gotta keep it in the fairway…” - everyone gives the server a buck.
• Stroke. (Can be a game by itself.) Anytime the word stroke (or variation)  is said, everyone must 1. yell stroke and 2. drop head backward. Last man to do it has to take a shot of bourbon. Note: if someone in the group has HAD a stroke, instead of yelling stroke, you yell his name.
• “Golf Shot” - Chug beer and take a shot. WTF! It’s a golf tournament.
• Whang - when golfer slams club into turf in disgust. Absolute silence until next golf shot.
• Titties - if a commercial has a female golfer, you buy beer for the person on your left. If it’s a model who doesn’t know a shaft from a shalale, this round is void. If it’s Paula Creamer, just watch and quietly say her last name - once.

• “Makeable putt” - when missed, the person to your right buys your next beer.
• “He’s got to be happy with that.” Shot of bourbon followed by “bullshit.”
• “Pin high” - drink of beer, say “up and down in two.”
• Weather Channel - if anyone flips to the weather channel and says “looks like it’s will be gone soon.” Throw beer nuts at him. You’re too drunk to play anyway.

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