Geezer Guzzling Golf Game

Remember college? If no, skip the rest, if yes, remember drinking games? Quincy? Quarters? Beer Pong?

Sometimes it rains when a round of golf is scheduled or in progress. No biggie, keep playing. But when the lightning comes, boomer golfers head for the clubhouse where the TV usually has a golf tournament playing or re-playing. That electricity in the air is hell on pace-makers.

Here’s a game to play while watching the tournament:

Geezer Golf Guzzling

(Guzzling can be redefined to drinking or tipping or sipping if needed because everyone is on Wellbutrin, Cialis or FloMax.)

Equipment needed: Beer and bourbon and bucks and beer nuts. TV with Tivo for disputed calls.

  • “Get in the hole” – said on television.  Everybody takes a sip of beer. This will happen on every tee shot, so this just keeps everyone drinking.
  • “Get in the hole” – said by anyone in the clubhouse. Doesn’t not apply for any other comments regarding any other life situations. Shot of bourbon.
  • Analyst says sand shot is the easiest shot in golf: Shot of bourbon, chug what’s left of beer.
  • “Gotta keep it in the fairway…” – everyone gives the server a buck.
  • Stroke. (Can be a game by itself.) Anytime the word stroke (or variation)  is said, everyone must 1. yell stroke and 2. drop head backward. Last man to do it has to take a shot of bourbon. Note: if someone in the group has HAD a stroke, instead of yelling stroke, you yell his name.
  • “Golf Shot” – Chug beer and take a shot. WTF! It’s a golf tournament.
  • Whang – when golfer slams club into turf in disgust. Absolute silence until next golf shot.
  • Titties – if a commercial has a female golfer, you buy beer for the person on your left. If it’s a model who doesn’t know a shaft from a shalale, this round is void. If it’s Paula Creamer, just watch and quietly say her last name – once.

Paula Creamer

  • “Makeable putt” – when missed, the person to your right buys your next beer.
  • “He’s got to be happy with that.” Shot of bourbon followed by “bullshit.”
  • “Pin high” – drink of beer, say “up and down in two.”
  • Weather Channel – if anyone flips to the weather channel and says “looks like it’s will be gone soon.” Throw beer nuts at him. You’re too drunk to play anyway.

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Geezer Guzzling Golf Game — 6 Comments

  1. I guess I might be able to watch golf playing that game. My son has recently discovered beer pong. He acts like it is a new thing, I hate to tell him, his dad and I played it many times. (side note, I fixed the link, I think, I could be drunk, I don’t know. heh!)

    justmylife’s last blog post..It’s that time of year again.

  2. I remember quarters! We also used to play a pot card game called “Bong 99” although I will be damned if I can remember the rules. (Which isn’t surprising, is it?)

    I’m on Wellbutrin, but still have been known to guzzle. Only very occasionally, though.

    Gretchen’s last blog post..Subway: Bite ME.

  3. @JustMyLife: you play beer pong with him? You know there is an actual bonafide beer pong table being made now? Xmas idea.

    @Gretchen: My goal is to write a post about a party activity that you have not participated in. 🙂

  4. TrishaTruly sent me over here and I gotta say, I need to start watching more LPGA if they’re starting more and more to look like Michelle Wi and this Creamer gal!
    Last time I looked, it was all Nancy Lopez’ish and that just turns my stomach!
    Great Blog!

    Dobe’s last blog post..What’s next? Nudist camp?

  5. @Dobe: and don’t forget Natalie Gulbis.
    Thanks for visiting, but you have to get your head screwed on straight if you’re going to stay, if the best woman golfer ever, turns fifty and turns your stomach. She can still whip your butt on the links. 😛