Lorelle at WordPress Asked Me to Write About This

When the WordPress Queen Lorelle Van Fossen issues a request, all must obey. Especially if IRL, I too am a three initial, space in the last name, no Van is not my middle name, often without a space and therefore misfiled a lot person. (That probably should all be hyphenated, right?)

If you are a WordPress user, it is imperative that you follow. If you are a Blogspotter or Moveable Typer, please step aside whilst we ruminate about our failures.

She asks today: “What is your most miserable, colossal, gargantuan blog post?” And she was looking RIGHT AT ME when she asked it.
Without a doubt mine is this one.

Paul Potts Profiles Pataratida Pacharawirapong

How did it miss? Paul Potts was all over YouTube.
He was so hot that this year, America’s Got Talent, went out and recruited an imitation! Aside, what’s wrong with America Has Talent? I hate that they used the grammatical gimmick.
Another aside… Sharon Osborne’s Official Site has a really nice picture of her.

Sharon Osbourne.

Caution, Ozzy on autoplay.

Back to Lorelle’s two questions: pick a post you thought would get a good reaction. How could this not generate a great response:

“Plenty of pompous playboys pretend to pamper or pacify P.P. with Parisian perfumes or picturesque poppies, Pan-American peonies, even Puerto Rican pineapple, or Persian petunias ” a pleasant but pensive protegé purred.”

Now that is some hot writing. Who would not be impressed with the picture created by this panapoly of passion? Whoops, sorry.

She paraded her purple pants and patchy patterned peach prêt á portêr pleasingly. Periwinkle pajamas protruded into her pathway just past the pristine persimmon penholder on the pentagon Pennsylvania provincial planked podium.

Pennsylvania Planks

So the writing was hot.

Lorelle then asks

why you think these are worthwhile posts and why you think they didn’t get the attention they deserved.

Lorelle won’t like the answer, but sometimes even Queens must be told the truth.

Gotta leave it all behind and face the truth. Mam, ooh, I don’t want to die, I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all. I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango.

Here it is Lorelle Queen Anne of WordPress. The reason this blog post was not a smash, propelling me to stardom.

Paul Potts Profiles Pataratida Pacharawirapong

It was to erudite for my readers at the time.

Since that was first posted, I have upgraded my readers. I have helped them discover wonderous. I have educated them on the value of my writing.

Pettiness nor pretence passed placidly. P.P. preferred pointed even playful patter. Pompously she prepared to patronize a pallid piker.

Lorelle, My Queen Anne of Seattle, as the bard wrote, Pour your ick, I new him well. Thank you for letting me explain how it’s not my writing, it’s my readers that have improved.

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Lorelle at WordPress Asked Me to Write About This — 7 Comments

  1. Pingback: The Day Lorelle At WordPress Ignored by Comment. Self Esteem Takes Huge Blow | Baby Boomer Going Like Sixty in Kentucky

  2. I’m glad it’s your readers not you that has improved, though I am a firm believer that we can learn much from our readers as well as our writing – if we are willing to pay attention. Few do, so good for you.

    Satire is very hard to write and few do it well, so most of the time while we strive to do our best, it often falls on clogged ears and brains. You’re getting better all the time, though the balance between harsh condemnation and comedy is a fine line to tread.

    By the way, injecting the space in my last name to create a middle name is an interesting approach, but be warned that there is no space – so the case of my middle name – and if I even have one – could be the source of your next inspired post. 😀

  3. @Lorelle: I have a space in my last name like Da Vinci, I’m sorry I messed up your last name by adding a space.

    Satire? No, my blog lets me release my inner smart ass.

    Gretchen? You reading this? hehehe… she said I wrote satire.