Smarter People Chew. And Spit. So There.

I chew gum. I read on the internet that chewing gum keeps the spit flowing and helps reduce tooth decay. It also makes you smarter. So I chew.
Growing up I chewed Double Bubble, then as I became more eriudite I changed to Juicy Fruit, then it was tooth decay. Pre-Vietnam War sugarless chewing gum was crap. I think there was rationing of NutraSweet to help the boys at the front. I didn’t take up chewing gum again until a couple years ago. Sugarless Extra Peppermint is my weapon of choice.
I do not “chonk” my gum, nor blow bubbles, nor pop or crack my gum.
When I am done with my gum, I spit it in the wastebasket or trash can. I do not spit where people walk.

Not only do I consider this totally disgusting, I find the entire concept of gum chewing repulsive. I pretty much equate the action as human cud chewing.

Anyone who would consider banning gum needs to stop blogging so much and take a breath.

Unless they walk in the street. I sometimes spit my gum out the car window. I spit my gum with great exhuberance. Usually with a “Pit-tooey” exclamation.
I spit my gum out the sunroof.
Sometimes I miss.
I like gum.

I like to spit.

Spit. Spit. Spit.

Spittey-spit-spit.

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Comments

Smarter People Chew. And Spit. So There. — 9 Comments

  1. Gum chewing disgusting? Smoking is a disgusting habit. So is farting. Me, I choose my battles. I ask the male members of my household not to fart, and I let my boys chew sugarless bubble gum. (Boolie is still learning the whole “don’t swallow it” concept.)

    Spitting = gross, but I think necessary in some way to male existence.

    Gretchen’s last blog post..Lizard Shit.

  2. @Gretchen: you’re right about farting being a habit. It really can be addicting. I hate when walking with a really, really, really, old guy and they just let fly and don’t even miss a step.

  3. “Anyone who would consider banning gum needs to stop blogging so much and take a breath.”

    Hey, spit your gum onto their keyboard and then leave it in the sun for awhile. That’ll get ’em!

    Krissi’s last blog post..So here I am…

  4. I just so happened to be walking in the middle of a street in Kentucky when my foot began to bother me…

    So you’re a gum chewer. But I’ll forgive you and still call you my friend. Just don’t tell me you also chew tobacco. Then I might have to reconsider.

    Catch Her In the Wry’s last blog post..What do you do with your wad?

  5. @Catch Her in the Wry: Hee. Did you have shoes on? Gum is easy to get off bare feet: spray with WD 40.
    Tobacco chaw. That is so, absolutely, 100%, bonafide, G – R – O – S – S!
    My dad did business with a guy that had a “white” beard with tobacco juice stain right down the middle.
    Stink??? OMG. Stink!

  6. Well now Baby Boomers,

    We sure have a topic to chew on here…

    I do not chew gum in public!

    I can not tolerate people who chew their gum with their mouth open!
    I simply want to slap the taste out of their mouths when they do this!

    Yea Gads…am I becoming my Mother????? LOLOL

    I bet they sell more gum then they do radishes though!

    Do not swollow your gum…LOSERS! You will be carring it around in your digestive tract for years! After all it is RUBBER and how do you think your body can digest that… THIS is tatally discusting! LOL

    NOW, on spitting…I was lost on the fact if it was your gum or just plain old discusting FLEM!

    The thumbs are down on both!

    Those of us who wear shoes and are not gum chewers, would like to cram the whole package of gum down your spitting thoats when we find it on our shoes…

    Perhaps those who wear flip flops in public do not mind gum on their shoes or toes…I do not wear flips in public unless I am at the beach. I do not consider flip flips shoes! They are beach wear!
    I know this because I live in Florida and you never see members of Congress or the Senate wearing them to work!

    So, now that I have you fashioned challeneged, gum chewing, spitting
    folks straightened out…come visit me sometime and read my rants…

    Southern smiles and world peace,
    Sharon
    ~The Baby Boomer Queen~
    http://www.BabyBoomerAdvisorClub.com

    Sharon’s last blog post..By: Trevor

  7. Pingback: I Stepped In Gum This Morning. Equalibrium Restored in the Universe. | Baby Boomer Going Like Sixty in Kentucky