Outcry for Naked Olympics Ensues. Except for Wrestling, High Jump, and Table Tennis

Last evening I was going all ga-ga over the 41 year old woman who made the Olympic team, explaining in great detail to Nancy how this is possible because swimming is low impact, how training techniques have improved, how swimming requires as much lung capacity as it does muscle tone. (I only had to nudge Nanc’ a few times to pay attention.) Only once did she interject the word: “steroids.”

But I forgot the real reason she not only qualified, she set a NEW. WORLD. RECORD. She is wearing a cheater swim suit.

The LZR Racer is a whiz-bang swimsuit developed by Speedo. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy share one.

So of course, Dana Torres, a 41 year old woman is qualified for her fourth olympics in eleven events! She is a cheetah, a sheetah!

Of course the only answer to the constantly improving technology screwing up the records set by the Greeks.

Naked Olympics.

For example this video shows what a running event might look like… (caution: nakedness) Except the runners would be in much better shape. Hopefully.

Summer and Winter Olympics both will benefit from Naked Mandatory. But, I don’t want to see naked wrestlers, high jumpers or table tennisers. I would love to see naked Curling and Hocky. Where is Vince McMahon and the WWE when we need them? Pure pay-per-view gold, silver, and paper (money)

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Comments

Outcry for Naked Olympics Ensues. Except for Wrestling, High Jump, and Table Tennis — 5 Comments

  1. At 41, there are a lot more women who are cougars than cheetahs.

    I think they should just legalize everything and establish categories for records set with enhancements. That way they can keep pushing the limits with technology, but the old-time athletes don’t lose their records to some guy with a vagina in the “women’s” division.

    Brian’s last blog post..Be Careful What You Eat

  2. @Brian: I agree. If somebody wants to have 11 quarts of blood, I don’t care. I wouldn’t have two categories however, then the argument of what an “enhancement” is becomes a problem.