Monthly Archive for September, 2008

Kashi cookies are giving away free samples (they say you can “steal” one from their cookie jar.) Mine came in the mail the other day. I was kind of amazed that a single cookie could be mailed in a tiny cardboard box and remain totally intact. The box engineer was very good at what he does.
Single Serving Cookie Box Shipping Container Expert.

People who say they know a lot about cookies are raving about this cookie.

They don’t taste like gnarly old hippie cookies or anything—you know, no carob chips or patchouli dust—but they do taste absolutely delicious, in that sort of “wow, this seems like it might be good for me” sort of way.

Wrong. They are not absolutely delicious, they are not moderately delicious, they are not absolutely bad, they are moderately bad.

Nancy makes great chocolate chip cookies. She hasn’t made Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies forever. As a matter of fact, she hasn’t made her wonderful, mouth-watering, yummy chocolate chip cookies in forever either.

When she had her leg amputated, she did buy me the Nestle’s Toll House cookie dough that comes ready to bake. Two packages. The only heat the raw dough saw was the inside of my mouth. Yes, I have worms.

Kashi cookies are marketed to be a healthy alternative to Nancy’s flavorful, luscious, exquisite chocolate chip cookies.

The thing that makes these cookies a Best! Thing! Ever! is that you can eat just one and be done with it, which is kind of unheard of, if you ask me.

Of course you only eat one, they don’t taste good. That is the whole strategy behind diet/healthy food. It doesn’t taste good.

It doesn’t taste like chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven with a glass of cold milk. You know, like Nancy used to make. By now you are saying, “make your owned damned cookies.” I try, I really do. But they never get past the dough stage. When I dump in the chocolate chips and mix them around I go on auto pilot and the dough goes straight to my mouth.

I’m expecting more Kashi cookies, because I gamed the system to get lots of free samples. That’s not stealing. It’s not. It’s using my American ingenuity to gain an advantage over the giant mega-corporations who don’t pay code slaves enough to make it impossible to game them. (I use Firefox – which usually doesn’t clear the form if you fill it in, submit and then go back. Rinse and repeat.)

We don’t give the dogs table food or even dog treats, so I guess I will crumble up the cookies and put them in the bird feeder. No, that won’t be good – skinny birds won’t make it through the winter. Aha! I will feed the tree rodents Kashi cookies.

Be Socialable

The economic meltdown of the national banking system is well underway and at every turn, we are being reassured that everything will be OK.

If this one single fact doesn’t scare the hell out of you, what is wrong with your noodle? This doesn’t make me feel better:

• The same bankers that were in charge two years ago when this started are still in charge.
• The same Congress that was in charge two years ago when this started are still in charge.
• The same President that was in charge two years ago when this started is still in charge.
• The same Secretary of the Treasury that was in charge two years ago is still in charge.

These people were going to buy up the crap some big banks don’t understand, economists don’t understand, and brokers don’t understand. Then they were going to re-package the whole deal and sell it to… who? Who in their right mind would buy this crap investments? I know who needs to be selling it, Billy Mays!

Dude can sell anything to anybody.

Now the assholes in Congress are bickering and have voted against the plan everyone said HAD to pass today.

Here’s what’s different – and this means worse.

As of today, the national debt is $9,889,199,531,449.08, add in unfunded social security, medicare and medicaid and the debt is $59 Trillion.

• The Chinese are holding most of our debt. They don’t like us.
• Russian holds a lot of our debt. They don’t like us.
• Oil Exporters hold the next largest chunk of our debt. They don’t like us.
• The dollar is weak against the Euro and other currencies. This means we pay more for stuff here, and we can’t export as much because it costs more there. It means that foreign manufacturers will locate here. Is it still “Made in U.S.A.” if the profits go overseas?
• Gas has tripled in price, but our consumption has remained the same. We are not willing to sacrifice to save ourselves. Georgia (the U.S. one) governor asked people not to drive to a college football game. They lit the guy’s hair on fire!

So Obama, McCain and Biden will probably withdraw and let Sarah Palin woo the white haired guys on the hill. Did you hear her with Couric – she had all the sound bites – and like SNL said, she looks adorable.

If she took Hillary as a running mate, they could get it done. Either one could de-nut congress. Sarah Palin with a Moose-gutting knife, Hillary with a withering look.

Me? I’m just looking for a place to run and hide. Southern Canada or Northern Mexico or Costa Rico are looking pretty good.

Be Socialable