How many times have you said to someone else, or muttered under your breath, “who would do such a thing?” Here is the definitive answer. If you are with someone and they say “who would do such a thing?” you have the answer. You can say “I know! I actually know!”

Who would do such a thing?

• Parks on the white line in the parking lot. Help’s my aim to just line up the Mercede’s star on the line.
• Empties car trash out the window on the interstate - actually sometimes I just open the sunroof and all the windows and - hmmmm, stuff flies out the window!
• Picks and flicks
• Pays for all purchases with exact change
• Pays for all purchases with exact change even at the drive through even if I have to go to the center console and rummage for nickels and pennies
• Rolls through stop signs
• Never indulges in the “courtesy” yield when behind the wheel
• Chats up the checkout clerk when there is a line up
• Goes thru the express lane with as many items as I want to
• Turns the bass up as high as it goes - even when I have Yanni in the CD
• Eats all the Halloween candy before Oct. 31, and then turns off the porch light
• Tailgates you at any speed
• Argues with TSA about taking off my shoes. It is NOT a rule anymore!
• Stares at people with facial deformities - but I don’t giggle and point
• Leaves dog’s turds in your yard
• Sets personal vehicle speed limit
• Slams my airplane seat back back ASAP and never move it until told to.
• Laffs and points at adults wearing bicycle helmets
• Eavesdrops on your conversation and adds two cents
• Orders Crown Royal and Coke
• Arrives at the time indicated on the invitation
• Spits in the drinking fountain
• Keeps suitcase beside me on the moving sidewalk in the airport
• Unbuckles seatbelt before the Captain gives me the OK
• Makes change from the “leave a penny” tray
• Puts gum underneath a public seat
• Remains seated while an old lady stands
• Treats wait staff like a stranger
• Tells Nancy to “man up” and then admit her to the hospital a week later
• Tells tech support I want a different person - one that learned English
• Takes a 5 gallon can of gasoline to Nashville to resell it
• “Exports” Kentucky cigarettes to Florida
• Doesn’t aim well at the urinal
• Takes the second newspaper in a stack and mess the top one up
• Opens M&M’s when the movie is real quiet.

Me. It’s not a pride thing. This is a public service. Now you can spread the word - you found the guy!