Stolen Kashi Cookie Eaten. Don’t Bother.


Kashi cookies are giving away free samples (they say you can “steal” one from their cookie jar.) Mine came in the mail the other day. I was kind of amazed that a single cookie could be mailed in a tiny cardboard box and remain totally intact. The box engineer was very good at what he does.
Single Serving Cookie Box Shipping Container Expert.

People who say they know a lot about cookies are raving about this cookie.

They don’t taste like gnarly old hippie cookies or anything—you know, no carob chips or patchouli dust—but they do taste absolutely delicious, in that sort of “wow, this seems like it might be good for me” sort of way.

Wrong. They are not absolutely delicious, they are not moderately delicious, they are not absolutely bad, they are moderately bad.

Nancy makes great chocolate chip cookies. She hasn’t made Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies forever. As a matter of fact, she hasn’t made her wonderful, mouth-watering, yummy chocolate chip cookies in forever either.

When she had her leg amputated, she did buy me the Nestle’s Toll House cookie dough that comes ready to bake. Two packages. The only heat the raw dough saw was the inside of my mouth. Yes, I have worms.

Kashi cookies are marketed to be a healthy alternative to Nancy’s flavorful, luscious, exquisite chocolate chip cookies.

The thing that makes these cookies a Best! Thing! Ever! is that you can eat just one and be done with it, which is kind of unheard of, if you ask me.

Of course you only eat one, they don’t taste good. That is the whole strategy behind diet/healthy food. It doesn’t taste good.

It doesn’t taste like chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven with a glass of cold milk. You know, like Nancy used to make. By now you are saying, “make your owned damned cookies.” I try, I really do. But they never get past the dough stage. When I dump in the chocolate chips and mix them around I go on auto pilot and the dough goes straight to my mouth.

I’m expecting more Kashi cookies, because I gamed the system to get lots of free samples. That’s not stealing. It’s not. It’s using my American ingenuity to gain an advantage over the giant mega-corporations who don’t pay code slaves enough to make it impossible to game them. (I use Firefox – which usually doesn’t clear the form if you fill it in, submit and then go back. Rinse and repeat.)

We don’t give the dogs table food or even dog treats, so I guess I will crumble up the cookies and put them in the bird feeder. No, that won’t be good – skinny birds won’t make it through the winter. Aha! I will feed the tree rodents Kashi cookies.

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Comments

Stolen Kashi Cookie Eaten. Don’t Bother. — 5 Comments

  1. They’re giving them away because there are vast warehouses full of the cookies that no one will eat. I’m usually all over a free sample, but this one I haven’t signed up for.

  2. Actually I got some too randomly (in a gift bag). Realized a secret. Put them in milk, seriously. After a good 30 second soak they tastte like the best oatmeal cereal you’ve ever had. Seriously, try it.