Live from my recliner. It’s me, writing comments while Barry O’Bomber and Killer McCain tap dance around the stage like tap dancers on a stage. I live about seventy miles from Belmont University, so I can give you insider insights into the inner scrotum during the debate. Excuse me Town Hall Meeting. (About that headline, a guy once told me that I should work on writing better headlines to get more Google Juice.) In this case the headline should be: Sarah Palin Fails To Debate Instead Explodes on Skylar Deleon While Herbert and Marion Sanders throw Bailout Trillions.
While we are waiting…
We had a town hall where I grew up. The Allen Township Hall. It was awesome. My dad played basketball there. Except the town hall wasn’t long enough so they just shortened the floor. It was so short (insert short joke here) the top of the free throw circles intersected with the circle at center court.
But when Dad played basketball – he was one of six boys in his high school so he was pretty much assured starting position – no, not his class – six boys in the whole high school – the sanctioned high school basketball rules were: every time a basket was scored the ball would be taken to center court for a jump ball – and since Dad was about six-two, he usually got the tip and he was often high point man in a game that would end 8 to 3. (see, there still is a period on my keyboard, I bet you thought I had run of out them!)
We also had talent shows in the town hall for fund raisers. Fun raisers for raising funds. I remember I had to do a commercial during a fun raiser while there was a “set change” (har) for Bill’s Gulf Gas Station. I was nervous and rushed it so there needed to be some more filler. Our pastor thought he could fill by doing another commercial for FLUG. He took the sign from me and went back in front of the curtain and did a bit about taking the gas out of your car.
I didn’t think it was funny either.
“Presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain are set to meet for the second presidential debate in Nashville Tuesday night at a time when only 9% of Americans are satisfied with the way things are going in the United States — the lowest such reading in Gallup Poll history…”
OK, Tom Brokenjaw Brokaw taking over – he really looks older than petroleum and needs more make up. No, he needs grout to fill those wrinkles. Cripes is he on meth? Go here for Are Debate Moderators Hot or Not?
Oh, here they come: Barry O’Bomber and Killer McCain.
Just one more thought about our town hall – it had awesome theater type curtains. A huge rouge velvet curtain that descended from the ceiling as somebody tugged on a big ole rope. (That sounds dirty doesn’t it, behind the curtain, tugging my rope.)
Rules time. Yawn.
Belmont University had Vesper Services last week. That’s kind of uppity don’t you think? Maybe I’m wrong but doesn’t that just mean saying your prayers before bedtime?
Also Vesper Services sound real redneck. Gulf Gas and Vesper Services Next Stop.
Since Brokaw is a former NBC dude, I’ll drive down to Belmont and choke the first person who mentions Tim Russert.
Here we go:
My format is paraphrase of the question, comment on the way the questioner looks and acts, then reponse from candidate which will always be
1.”maverick maverick maverick”
2. “change change change.”
Question:something about the economy.
Bald, white guy in a tie: it’s a retired Mr. Clean! At least he was short.
Whoa! Is Killer gonna sit down beside the guy who asked the question? Back off John. Oh, a “my friends” tally seems in order. Two in that answer.
Question: something about somebody running the money department.
Warren Buffet – old white guy who never created a job or Meg Whitfield – old white woman who created a company – eBay.
Question: Black guy in a suit, he was wonderin’ about the bailout. He didn’t get the memo. It’s now known as a “rescue.”
A. # 1
Killer said the guy probably “Never heard of Freddie or Fannie.” That’s like saying, yeah, you young black people don’t know about those big fancy companies
Question: Is the economy gonna get worse?
Question: Back to Section F… Uh Oh, Wild Card! White woman is really hacked at politicians.Nice beads! They look like huge black snails. Why should we trust either one of you? Unsaid: I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more. Wow she was furious. Undecided voter for sure. Shaking – and not necessarily from nervousness. She is hacked! Wish she could get a follow up.
Somebody told Killer to get right in their faces.
Question: Master of the Obvious Brokaw, everybody knows… well then why say it Brokenjaw?: What are your priorities? Still asking the same question asked at the last debates.
Lecture from the moderator that he can’t control things and give him a break and play by the rules and shut the hell up after their time has expired.
Question: Email from 78 year old depression person, what sacrifices would Barry and Killer ask Americans to make besides the blood of soldiers. Email? This old coot knows email. Biggest news tonight!
Question: How are we going to get rid of the drunks in government and big business?
Question: From “the Internet sez Brokenjaw. Now he’s into his maestro mode, he want’s a Coda. Second verse, same as the first! I’m ‘enry the eight I am, I am. I think there was a Coda in that tune. Sousa marches had Coda. Oh, somebody’s answering something, but it’s…
My friends #3
Question: A C-section question: Young black chick with nice bling and cool denim. Yeah, she was semi-hot for Belmont. Wait, Belmont doesn’t have any black students, she must be from Vanderbilt University. Go Vandy!
Lecture by Brokenjaw on the lights n the room to keep them on time – the smart ass.
Question: Should we make a big bomb or build 100,000 garages?
My friends #4
Question: Lindsay is a soccer Mom, probably a nurse with a stupid question about health care as a commodity. What a ditz, dumb blond. Health care as a commodity? Is there a futures market on artificial hips? Do hedge funds invest gall-bladder surgeons? Dummest question yet.
Cheap shot by Killer talking about hair transplants when talking about health care plan. At least he didn’t say butt plugs would be covered.
Question: something else about health care – I had to let Sofi out.
I guess there are no hispanics in Nashville – Wrong – there only are no hispanics in the crowd of questioners.
Question: (background Brokenjaw moans – followup: I think he was groaning about the time issues.) Gear shift to foriegn. White dork with Sarah Palin glasses and button down collar with J. Crew sweater. He would be a Belmont grad student.
My friend #5
Cheerleader analogy! Barry should have alluded to Miss Congeniality voted for the war in Iraq – HAR. Killer McCain as Miss Congeniality. hehehe, I crack myself up.
Question: Tom Brokaw shows off he can name countries in Africa. When do we go into Rowanda, Somalia, Congo? I”m going to the Moderator Hot or Not (link above) and kill Brokaw. Loser.
My friends #7! in the first 1:06
I’m done. It’s been an hour. I have a headache. I think I’ll watch TVLand. At least there when I hear the same lines over and over it’s from Andy of Mayberry.
One last shot: The F Section is getting special treatment. Boomer woman with nice dye job. Lots of wrinkles but her body language says she’s a Killer supporter.