Sarah Palin, Hocker Mom, Spits Out Almost Flawless Performance

Jeez, the Rove handlers must have been multi-orgasmic last night as they watched Sarah Palin, their Stepford candidate, recite their lines just like they drilled and drilled and drilled. Just like the north slope oil rigs, except Sarah Palin was getting stuff pumped into her, not pumped out.

As predicted by a former opponent, Sarah Palin dazzled with her bright white smile and her custom-made spectacles, adorable little accent, and a flawless complexion.

And she’s a master, not of facts, figures, or insightful policy recommendations, but at the fine art of the nonanswer, the glittering generality. Against such charms there is little Senator Biden, or anyone, can do.

What the Republican handlers have done is taken the Sarah Palin Tabla Rosa, and imprinted it with the Bush/McCain party line.

She couldn’t name a Supreme Court case – not one – she didn’t have to anaylze it or break it down and argue the merits, just name a friggin’ case.

Sarah Palin doesn’t read newspapers or watch television news or apparently even get a news briefing. (Katie Couric’s interviews.)

When Sarah Palin did make a foriegn policy observation, in the interviews, about watching Russia for invading aircraft, she exaggerated at best, was dead wrong at the worst.

‘‘When you consider even national security issues with Russia, as (Prime Minister Vladimir) Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where — where do they go? It’s Alaska,’’

She has absolutely no role in defending our borders against Russian Aircraft.

The Alaska governor has no command authority over the guardians of U.S. airspace despite her recent suggestion otherwise. ‘She doesn’t have any role in that process,’ Air Force Maj. Allen Herritage, spokesman for the Alaska North American Aerospace Defense Command…

So what we saw last night in Sarah Palin was just another pretty face with a head pumped full of talking points. Even her adorable “say it ain’t so Joe” moment was so obviously scripted. Oh it worked, but hardly a “maverick” moment.

If Republicans want a dancing monkey, they got one with Sarah Palin. She isn’t dumb. She’s a trophy Republican. Like John McCain’s other trophy women conquests. Sarah Palin was added to the ticket for the label that she had sewn in to her designer red Valentino jacket: “maverick.”

The McCain camp wanted someone malleable. Sarah Palin certainly proved she is that.

McCain doesn’t respect women, calling his own wife the most vile slur known to men. And while Sarah Palin was debating, he was telling the women gathered at a town hall how emotional they were.

“My friends, I’ve had hundreds of town hall meetings around this country for many, many years and I’ve got to say, thanks to you and to you and to you this is one of the more impactful and emotional town hall meetings I’ve ever had. Maybe it’s because it’s a women’s town hall.”

Sarah Palin is a quick learner, but I wonder about her retention of facts. She threw out the name Akmadinijad on more than one occasion just to show off. She was adorable, personable, fun, playful, flirty.

And she agreed with Dick Chaney on the role of the Vice President.

Perfect Hocker Mom for the Republican ticket.

Remember who’s at the top of the ticket, but don’t forget Sarah Palin who will be a heartbeat away.

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Sarah Palin, Hocker Mom, Spits Out Almost Flawless Performance — 2 Comments

  1. I’m not even going to try to be funny Mark. This was a really good piece…and I couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks. ~Joy