I Hope The Fresh President Wears a Hat

You know what would be really cool next Tuesday? If the Fresh President wore a hat.

Now stop that, you’re visualizing a stereotypical hat aren’t you. I’m talking about a really cool fedora. Not a top hat either.
These are the Obama hats Stetson designed for the Fresh President. How cool is that hat? Obama would look great. Why do I care? Because I want to start wearing a fedora.


I’ll never look cool. Not Obama-cool. But I could be more stylish.


What do guys my age do to show some style? I already wear baggy pants because my belly forces them down there. I already wear oversize shirts (XXXLT) because they are just so damned comfortable. Shoes? Who looks at shoes? So as far as fashion choices, Boomer guys need a chance. The Fresh President can provide us that opportunity. Wear a hat Barry, please?

The common perception is another Fresh President killed the hat business. According to urban legend, President Kennedy not wearing a hat while delivering his inaugural address caused the collapse.

The fact is Fresh President Kennedy wore a Top Hat throughout the day, taking it off only to deliver his speech.

jfk8He was pretty cool too.

Wouldn’t it be fun to start wearing real hats again? Not stupid ball caps?

Ball caps are just so average.

Change? Yes We Can.

We can ditch all the ball caps of the world. The ones with bent bills, straight bills, ragged bills, bills to the side, bills to the back.

The only choice you have when wearing a real hat is how to tilt it.

To the side and you are a dashing debonair fellow. Push it back on your head and you are a casual fun loving guy. Shove it forward and you are mean dude that better not be messed with. Of course feathers and hatbands are fully customizable to give the wearer enough latitude to show personal flair.

When the Mob gave up wearing hats, it was the end of their reign of terror. If John Gotti, the Dapper Don, wore a hat he wouldn’t have died in prison.

How awesome would it be for american hat manufacturing make a comeback? Stetson is doing OK because they have cornered the Cowboy Hat market. Stetson is leading the charge to get a Hat For Obama. That’s called leadership. By growing the hat market, everybody wins.

So whaddya think? Any chance I will be replacing my current hat for a new one soon? I sure hope so.



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I Hope The Fresh President Wears a Hat — 5 Comments

  1. I love hats on men, but usually by the time you’re our age it’s a fishing hat. You’re right, Barack could do a lot for the haberdashery business.

    Fashion becomes hopeless in middle age. I now wear stretch pants for comfort, and Ben wears sweat pants or elastic-waist shorts. And big t-shirts for both of us. Style mavens, us.

    Gretchen…also wrote this…Rim Shot, Please.

  2. I vote with both hands for the return of fedoras and Panama hats and boaters. Besides being oh-so-stylish, they are all immensely practical. “Green,” too. A well-made hat lasts for decades. Straw hats keep you cool in the summer; felt hats keep you warm in the winter. By wild extrapolation, therefore, hats help save on health insurance, too?

    The old saying in Boston, where I come from, is “We don’t buy hats; we HAVE hats.” That’s Yankee thrift fer ya.

    But it’s important to keep a few of the really cool martian hats (like yours) waiting in the closet for the extra-glamorous occasions.

    Polly-Vous Francais…also wrote this…Fly Free to France in Jet-Lag Gig

    • @Gretchen: Oh, bucket hats. No, no, no. ))))shudder(((( Middle agers can look good but it’s just so damned expensive and difficult. I’ve heard that a tailored suit does wonders. But the last tailored suit I bought was from Hong Kong Tailors.
      @Polly-vous Francais: Yes, keep your head warm, keep the sun off to prevent damage and wrinkles. Tin hats are always a safety measure.

  3. He did look pretty cool in that hat in that picture from his college days. I could see it!

    My father always wore a hat all his life – he never cared about whether it was fashionable or not! He was a hat guy.

    Mauigirl…also wrote this…The Six Random Things Meme