Monthly Archive for February, 2009

Page 8 of 9

Bill Gates Releases Bugs On Top Minds

Published on February 5, 2009 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments

gates-mosquitos

Bill Gates tried to infect some of the world’s brightest minds with Malaria at the hoity-toity geek-a-thon called to those of us on the outside as TED. (Technology, Entertainment and Design.)
This is the same Bill Gates who has released millions of bugs on the general population while he was running Microsoft.

Ending malaria is a particular passion of Gates’s, whose Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has spent millions fighting the disease. But he apparently didn’t feel like TED attendees were taking the threat seriously. “Not only poor people should experience this,” Gates said as he let the bugs loose on his audience

Not surprisingly, Bill Gates screwed up this release too, as the mosquitoes needed to be upgraded after release because Bill Gates released mosquitoes that did not have malaria.

Bill Gates is a Prick.

Zombie Saves Me From Myself

Published on February 5, 2009 in Blogging. 4 Comments Tags: , , , .

Going Like Sixty had some severe problems and had to be put down. I’m talking about the theme, my K2 modified Steampunk CSS hacked disaster. As with most disasters, the K2 Steampunk theme struck without warning. One minute it was fine, the next minute it wasn’t. I upgraded WP Super Cache using auto-upgrader and things went downhill quickly.

My back end guy Kirk died. But he still got my RSS feeds wherever he was and decided to rise from the grave and give me some advice.

Kirk, being a submariner, and prior to his death, very dependent on heavy duty drugs, can be pretty straightforward when dealing with me.

To paraphrase Kirk. “Sixty? Are you friggin’ kidding me? You have two K2 themes, with 18 CSS stylesheets, fourty-eleben hack, jacks and whacks to the CSS and you think this  is fixable?  Kill it. Kill K2 Steampunk now before it spreads.”

Therefore, I have a new theme.
Thanks Zombie Kirk for giving me the kick I needed to fix it.
Now back to your coffin.

If Desi Arnaz Made a Car Seat, This Would Be It.

Published on February 5, 2009 in Cars, Family, Health, Money, Research and Shopping. 2 Comments

That’s some seat you got there Lucy.

Woot.com is one of my favorite shopping sites. Simple minds require simple times. Woot offers one item, one day (or until sold out) at one price. Shipping is always $5. Always. Sometimes Woot will offer a Bag of Crap which is the old “grab-bag” concept. A buck plus $5 shipping – always buy three.
Woot also has a bunch of nuts who write up their item descriptions.
Earlier this week a Woot item for sale  was a Recaro Car Seat.

If I were writing up the description,  I would have gone the whole offensive Ricky Recaro schtick.

rickyricardo

The Woot writer decided to give buyers five good reasons why they should purchase a recalled car seat.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Woot not only deals in new merchandise, but refurbished, recalled, discontinued, out-of-date, lame and ugly merchandise.

Here’s reason #5 why it’s OK to buy a recalled car seat.

5. It makes you seem like a total bad-ass. Next time some chump wants to front, just drop this on him: “I make my kid ride in a recalled car seat.” That’s some serious Keyser Soze stuff right there. And the fool never has to know the truth.

Blogger Always Sweet – Post Gets Bitter

Published on February 4, 2009 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment

Another site where I post is populated mostly by Xers. One of them made an off-hand observation “things get better with age, right Sixty?” A couple more weighed in with things that do get better with age, wine and cheese for example. I advised them that after 40 life does start to go downhill. They need to get ready:

Joints stiffen faster – gait gets slower
Ass gets wider – mind gets narrower
Skin gets dark spots – hair gets white spots
Teeth get longer – dick gets shorter
Wishes remain – dreams vanish
Life is sweet – living is sour
Skin is thinner – glasses are thicker
Bedtime is earlier – awake time is later
Head hair manageable – back hair berserk
Food is softer – turds are harder
Memory fades – something something
Hearing loss unacceptable – silence almost preferable
Speech halting – opinions ongoing
Tolerance lessens – isolation worsens
Rising a chore – sitting a bore
Repetition repeats – Repetition repeats
Talking to TeeVee is fun – talking to clerks is unbearable
Time Drags – Life Speeds
Life Drags – Time Speeds

Tongue in cheek – thumb up ass

Tolerating Test Puns

Published on February 3, 2009 in Blogging. 0 Comments

Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying.
I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.