How Nooter Helped Me Communicate

Nooter the Dog blogs regularly. I’ve learned alot about dogs from reading Nooter’s thoughts. It never would have occurred to me to have a real conversation with one of the four moochers that hang around our place.

I’ve had plenty of conversations AT my dogs:

  • Who the hell did this?
  • Did you do this?
  • Why did you do this?
  • Do it again and I’ll…

Nooter gave me the encouragement I needed to actually engage on of our doguses, dogi, dogsums in a tet-a-tet.

I didn’t approach Sofi because she is mostly puppy and her attention span is about as long as, Being small is… oh look a sunbeam!

Derby lived on the streets of Nashville before we adopted him and he still has that “street dog” attitude. Oh yeah, scratch my ears, ummmmm, thanks. Then he’ll walk over into the hallway and shit.

Oliver just won’t talk. I mean look at him. I didn’t ask. I didn’t need to. He won’t talk, I gar-on-tee it.

Sedona on the other hand, just lives to please me.  She lays on the bed up by my pillow in the winter to warm up the bed before I climb in. When I had my Basil Sell Cars in Sonoma, she licked at it to try to make it go away. She loves to hug. She craps in the yard in a nice neat pile for me to scoop up. She hates squirrels too.

I decided to give conversation a try. When she was giving me a hug, I whispered in her velvet ears.

Why do you wag your tail so much?

She said why do you insist on breaking up our moment?

After I apologized we had a short chat.

I noticed in this video online that this dog curls his tongue and bites the water, is that how you drink?

No, that the European way of drinking.

Why does the hair on your back go up when you are irritated?

It does? Holy crap! Why didn’t somebody tell me this?

You never crap in the house, thanks by the way, but what’s the deal?

It’s my house.

Oh, yeah, right. I forgot for a minute.

Since we’re chatting, can I ask you a couple questions?


When you get up in the night to pee, why do you insist on waking me up by patting my head as you walk by?

Oh, sorry, I thought I was patting Nancy’s butt.

This isn’t a question, it’s a request. The name is Sedona, not Doner, not Sedonia, not Dones, not Stoner. Sedona. Will you please refer me in this way from now on?


Now piss off, I need a nap. And don’t think we’re gonna have these chats often.

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How Nooter Helped Me Communicate — 7 Comments

  1. oh thanks for the accolades!
    theres one other thing i wanted to mention, when youre having a conversation with one of us our attention span goes up, like ten hundred thousand percent if theres a snak for us every few minutes. for example if you had a big enough bag of popcorn you could read us ‘war and peace’

    Nooter…also wrote this…Penny Wise, Pound Foolish

  2. I’m scared to know what my dogs are thinking when I talk to them. I’d hope it’s “you’re the best mommy ever” but it’s probably more along the lines of “Will you just shut the hell up and let me get back to scratching and chewing on this bone?” or “Dog food? Seriously? You know I’d rather have a hamburger and fries,” or “Why don’t you go pee in the rain then? Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

    Staci…also wrote this…Attack of the Blog Smog

  3. Clever post. I know my dog can talk … and understand … when she wants to. She has selective listening.

    • @Grandma Henke: thanks, I guess I should engage the dogs more often in conversation. I know they understand and have selective listening too! I’m the same way with Nancy.