Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Page 10 of 13

Rodenator: The Perfect Father’s Day Gift


*Ahem,* child of mine who might be reading this, I am officially requesting the Rodenator as my Father’s Day Gift.

I am even offering financial support in your acquisition of the awesome Rodenator. The Sixty Explosive Stimulus we shall call it.

I don’t need one, we don’t have burrowing rodents.

I just want one.

Squirrels are rodents, we have squirrels, burrowing rodents must be cousins. Must kill all rodents in as violent manner as possible!

Explosions! Dirt flying! This. Is. Awesome.

rodenator

I would volunteer to take my Rodenator and do anybody’s yard. I would do all the local parks. If there was a hole in the ground I would insert my Rodenator and explode it.

This is the Father’s Day present every Father really wants. Really, really wants.

I understand the Spokane Humane Society is all up in arms about the possible use of the Rodenator on their rodents. Their disease ladden, ground bulging, mite ridden dirt rodents might die a painful death.

OK, in the spirit of the Obama’s, who promise to adopt a shelter dog, but instead gave money to the Humane Society, I will donate a nickel for every ground rat I kill to the local no-kill animal shelter.

Or, I will donate the exploded remains to the local food bank for rodent stew. It won’t be as good as Beaver Stew, but I don’t want to get wet killing beavers. Dirty? yes. More hearing loss? yes. Wet? nah.

Sixty, Rodenator Extraordinare, at your service. Have gas, will travel.

Want to Buy a Collectible Car? Think Plain, Simple, Ugly and Odd


Jay Leno owns dozens and dozens and dozens of highly desirable vehicles: * Muscle Cars * Supercars * Sports Cars * Classics * Antiques * Vintage * Custom Built * Motorcycles * Hot Rods * Duesenberg * Bugatti * Bentley * Fixed Engines * Trucks * Hybrids * Electric * Steam Cars * Aircraft * Corvettes * Ten years ago, Leno’s Garage first showed up in Popular Mechanics, so they asked him what cars today would interest him as collectible in 20-30 years.

McClarens? Mustangs? Corvettes? Sure!

About 10 years ago, I had the chance to buy a McLaren F1. A new one was almost a million dollars. This was a secondhand car with less than 2500 miles, and it was $800,000. I thought, it’s crazy to spend that much money on a car. So I talked it over with my wife. And she said, “You’ve worked hard. If you want to get it, get it.” And I thought, ohhh … kaaay! So I bought it. Last year, a McLaren F1 sold at auction for $4.1 million! I now realize this is the greatest investment I’ve ever made. In less than 10 years, I more than quintupled my money.

But Leno’s advice is to buy a car because you love it, not because you think you can make 5 times the investment in a few years. I still love to ride the back roads and rubberneck looking for “barn finds.” I’ve inquired about a few, but the owners always have the image of their beat up 1987 Corvette selling for enough money to pay off the mortgage on the double wide. Or the 1952 Dodge coupe that has no interior and no glass paying for their next set of dentures. It’s discouraging because I know those cars will 1. continue to rot away, or 2. eventually be hauled to the scrap yard.

What are Leno’s picks from the current crop of cars to be collectible? Think ordinary, plain, average, simple, even ugly!

That’s why I think the Mazda Miata will be the ultimate affordable collectible by, say, 2025. The first-generation Miata was extremely simple, and that’s part of its charm.

Miata made a cute car! But how about the Ford Taurus? Cute? Not really, but collectible because of it’s roundness which was unusual for the time and lots of people owned them. Would you buy a Pontiac Aztek?

Not many people did.

Nancy thinks they resemble a tennis shoe on wheels.2001 Aztek GT Leno likes it because it is “odd and weird” like the old Pacers and Gremlins.

How about a Chrysler LeBaron K-Car with the fake wood? (we had one which was broadsided with oldest daughter driving.) Collectible according to Leno.

Here’s a car I didn’t even know existed: Cadillac CTS-V with a six-speed standard transmission. Easy to know why that will be collectible. Hardly anybody drives a standard transmission now, in 20 years, nobody will be driving sticks.

Leno even likes Hummers and blinged out Escalades for future collectibles!

One last collectible? It’s any car your girlfriend thinks is cute. A ’79 Ford Fiesta? “Oooh, look at that little thing!” It’s seen as a cute, desirable city car. The new Smart cars will always be collectible. Minis too. Things don’t change. If a woman was cute 20 years ago, she’s cute today. The same is true for cars.

smart60


My cute girl in her cute car! Both highly collectible. One will be collecting Social Security in July.

Geeky Animate GIF Monday

Via

babyblink

Cadillac, Dodge, Jeep, Chrysler

Susan Boyle Proves American Idol Yet to Discover Real Talent


The British version of American Idol has discovered some real bonafide talent, Susan Boyle, unlike American Idol which tends to focus on a “marketable” performer.

Britian’s Got Talent has Simon Cowell in his usual form, Piers Morgan, and Amanda Holden. Performers audition and make it to the stage where they can be voted of Gong Show style. The season’s discovery is Susan Boyle, the cat lady.

But the performers are not all singers. There is no age limit.

This is not Susan Boyle

This is not Susan Boyle

Have you heard Paul Potts sing? He won the competition the first season.

This season’s star is Susan Boyle. Take one look at her face and her dress and her age (47), everything about her… and you might have given a sideways smirk too. But her voice!

Here’s what Piers Morgan said about her baffling performance-

I can remember the moment she first opened her lips perfectly. We were at a big theatre in Glasgow, 3000 people were laughing their heads off, Simon and Amanda were stifling a chuckle, and then she started to sing.

And I can honestly say it was one of the most extraordinary moments in my perhaps equally unlikely career as a talent show judge.

Because Susan Boyle is not just a good singer, she’s a fantastic singer. Someone whose stunning range, tone and delivery is worthy of comparison to anyone – Elaine Paige included.

Google Reveals It’s Easter, So Tie Your Tie and Head to Target


I get the RSS feed for hot Google searches. Yeah, that’s weird I know, but I always chuckle at some of the search terms.

I’m as guilty as anyone of typing the actual URL that I know in the Google search box.

At 10:11 a.m. CST these were the hot search terms… I think it must be Easter and people want to dress up and go shopping for water dogs. (Jonathan Singer was the subject of CBS This Morning, the author of Botanica Magnifica. Or you can Google him)

# how to tie a tie
# portuguese water dog
# jonathan singer
# is target open on easter
# obama dog
# home depot easter hours
# target locations
# history of easter
# easter bible verses
# how to cook a ham
# first dog
# he is risen
# easter scripture
# target store hours
# publix
# easter parade
# how to tie a necktie
# easter parade new york
# ham glaze
# easter music
# obama puppy
# resurrection sunday
# easter quotes
# white house dog
# leg of lamb cooking time