Monthly Archive for August, 2009

Page 3 of 6

What is it with Interstate Truckers?


smart-car-is-smashed
I’ve been on the road a lot this past week. There a lot of trucks on the road.

All together now… durrrrr.

Being behind the wheel, whilst careening down the road at 83 miles per hour,  allows a lot of think time.

I’ve seen long-haul truckers:

  • parallel park on the Champs de Elvis in Memphis
  • drive three wide in Hurricane Culligan at 83 mph
  • flirt with Glinda, eat meat and three, pass gas, all in less than the time it takes me to find my Jon and Kate Wilkes booth
  • pick their teeth with a Bowie knife and not draw blood
  • with tri-trailers do a reverse 180, release the middle trailer and hook back up to make a dual
  • back in between two other trailers at 30 mph and stop within 2 inches of the dock

What’s up with the flashing of lights when they pass each other going 85 mph down the Interstate? Daytime, Nighttime, Anytime.

Flash, flash, flash.

Flash headlights when a trucker pulls into their lane, flash trailer lights after pulling in front of another trucker.

Are long haul truckers stricken with Alzheimer’s when they hit the Interstate Highways so they forget how long their rig is?

Does a long haul trucker’s mirror say “objects in mirror must flash before you turn right?”

Are Interstate truckers so hopped up on bennies that they need visual assistance to get back in line?

Do they think this is NASCAR and to turn right you need a spotter to indicate “clear low?”

They all have cell phones, why don’t they just call each other? They all have GP Esses, can’t they just plot the position of every truck in 1000 yards? Kinda like the voluntary air traffic control over the Hudson River?

What is it with Interstate Truckers?

Cash for Clunker Crybabies


gop-cry-baby

Oh puh-leeze, the Cash for Clunker Crybabies have just about pushed me to the limits.

First, when the program had been operation for just ten days, an owner of 20 dealerships in the east was crying about how long it took to do the paperwork for Cash for Clunkers. He was bitchin’  because he had to pay a clerk  (probably making $10 an hour) to sit in front of a computer for a few hours to submit the paperwork to collect $4,500 free money collected from you and me.

Now the paperwork is in the gummit’s hands, here’s the National Automobile Dealers Association (NADA) aka CFCC (Cash for Clunker Crybabies) are crying they aren’t getting their money quick enough.

The National Automobile Dealers Association estimates that dealers have hundreds– and in some cases thousands — of applications pending that are

“worth hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars.”

Peter Kitzmiller, president of the 325-member Maryland Automobile Dealers Association said:

“It is ludicrous at this point, We’ve got deals that are just sitting there waiting to be reviewed. The customer is gone, the car is gone, and you don’t have your money.”

Damn Republicans. (And new car dealers are all Republicans.) They cry that something needs to be done to save the U.S. car business. Obama does something.

They cry that Obama is moving too fast on the stimulus.

They cry that the stimulus idea is bad for the economy.  Cars fly out of the showrooms at record pace – after 18 months of gathering dust.  Factories go on overtime to keep up with demand.

They cry that they aren’t getting their money fast enough. They want quicker turn-around. They want bigger goverment to handle the Cash for Clunkers program.

By the end of the week, up to 1,100 people will be working full time to process cash for clunker reimbursements.

They cry that government is getting too big.

How long would you sit (or pay someone to sit)  in front of a computer to collect $4,500?

Damn Cash for Clunker Crybabies. They give money to McCain, cry that Obama got elected,  line up at the public trough and then cry that the slop is too sour.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday

Today is our 41st Anniversary…

41

I’m taking her into the hospital for a tune up on Thursday.

Graphic details and graphic photos to come.

3-frames-detail_new

Damn Fine Technology


The world’s most simple and inexpensive global position locator is now at your disposal.

  • No trying to decide which smart phone is for you
  • No long term contract with a cell phone company
  • No trying to decide which GPS is for you.

This system will locate you no matter where your computer is sitting or which IP address is assigned. You can be behind the most secure firewall, drywall, seawall, whitewall and proxy hider thingy-ma-bob.

The system does it all in seconds, with little or no learning curve and at a cost that can’t be beat.

FREE.

How does it work? Ultra Easy Internet Locator uses a highly advanced global position locator algorithm known as ‘Internet Global User Exact Specific Site.’

iGuess.

Try it yourself.

Infallible.

Hope Bin Laden logs on soon.

Deleting Cookies – This May Take a While

Please stand by…
cookiemonsterdeletecookies