Monthly Archive for August, 2009

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Dealing With Fluid on the Knee. Is Knee Surgery a Pain?

Published on August 8, 2009 in Baby Boomer and Health. 10 Comments Tags: , , .

fluidontheknee

Bone cutter told me 16 years ago I should think about getting my knee replaced. His advice was put it off until the pain interferes with my acts of daily living:

  • Bathing  – nope shower.
  • Dressing and undressing – yep, hard to  put on my left sock which also could be a result of Dunlop Disease. But Spanx would be cheaper than surgery.
  • Eating – see above
  • Transferring from bed to chair, and back. See above
  • Voluntarily control urinary and fecal discharge. So far so good.
  • Using the toilet. Nope, if I would pay attention and try not to read while peeing the problem would be solved.
  • Walking (not bedridden) Now here’s the rub.  Sometimes my knee hurts – like when I walked to the top of the friggin’ Bunker Hill monument.

Me: Doc, it only hurts when I do this…

Doc: Don’t do that.

One of these knees is not like the other,

one of these knees doesn’t belong,

can you tell me which knee is not like the other

before I finish this song?
knees

Recuperation from knee surgery just seems like such a pain.

Anyone? Anyone?

RIP John Hughes – Video Montage of His Movies

Published on August 7, 2009 in Baby Boomer, Entertainment and Health. 0 Comments Tags: .


Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and Home Alone.

Here is a great montage of his movies that will put a smile on your face and maybe even laugh out loud as you recall the movie…

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is still our all time sick-day movie. No matter when you doze off or wake up or are drugged out, it’s the perfect fever-induced fun movie.

Or Breakfast Club.

Yo! Waistoid, you aren’t going to blaze up in here!

Attention Birthers: I Am Kenyan. Other Moments of “Duh”

Published on August 6, 2009 in Baby Boomer, Birthdays, Childhood, Entertainment and Politics. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

I knew it wouldn’t take long for Dou Lobbs to take after me, the old buzzard. To avoid further controversy about my birthplace, I am publishing – for the first time – my Kenyan birth certificate to keep the birthers at bay.

You will have to click to enlarge to read the faded document – after all Kenyan birther certificates aren’t printed on the best paper. The typewriter used to fill out by Kenyan birther document needed a new ribbon too.

Remember that? Changing typewriter ribbons? Before cartridges? Fingers would get all smudged with ink and you itch your face and walk around all day and nobody tells you “there is a black smudge on your face.” Or what that just me?
kenyanbirthcertificate
(clickify to explode)

Here are some other moments of “duh”:

  • Forbes says Air Force Academy top school: Duh. Takes a congressional appointment, you can’t drink or do drugs, no long hair,guaranteed a job afterwards, and eventually you are a General.
  • Brad Pitt says “No” to Angelina: Duh. He has the perfect reason. He tells Angie, if gays can’t marry, then I won’t marry you. It’s the activist/protest avoidance.
  • Big party when Paula Abdul said she wasn’t returning: Duh. She’s a star. They aren’t. It’s just jealousy. Paula will be have regular weekly appearances on Dancing With The Stars, Survivor, The View, Jon & Kate + 9, and Sponge Bob.
  • Lots o’ Rumors on Paula’s replacement: Duh. There is Kirstie Alley and moi at the top, then Diana Ross, Victoria Beckham, Natalie Cole, Allee Willis, Mrs. Butterworth and Rosanne auditioning in case Kirstie and I can’t make the deal.

60 Out

You’re Going to Have to Pick it Up a Notch. I’m Kara DioGuardi’s New Friend, and Alley Kirstie Just Tweeted Me

Published on August 5, 2009 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment


Huge battle going on for Paula Abdul’s spot on American Idol.

Kirstie Alley @kirstiealley tweeted that she was the new Paula.

I challenged her by saying I AM the new Paula. She responded, I AM SPARTACUS.
I responded: I AM SMARTANUS.

Meanwhile…

Kara DioGuardi (aka Kara DioGuardYourOwn) just added me as a friend. She promised to share special information with me.

I haven’t heard anything from Allee Willis about this who brouhaha.

But I’m pretty certain that you guys are going to have to pick it up a notch, because these Hollywood types are driving me nuts.

I’ll miss Paula Abdul

Published on August 5, 2009 in Baby Boomer and Entertainment. 3 Comments Tags: , .


I’ll miss Paula Abdul.

Watching her was a big part of American Idol. Paula Abdul was a fan, a cheerleader, a supporter, a spirited soul. She hardly had a bad thing to say about anybody – no matter how ridiculous their performance.

I’ll miss Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell’s constant harassing of the poor woman. He was merciless, but she took it in stride knowing that it made for great television.

When the “performers” weren’t entertaining, she would be. When the performers were entertaining, Paula was the first to jump to her feet and do that fakey “don’t-break-a-finger-nail-palms-together” applause.

Watching Paula Abdul was like watching:

  • George Bush at a press conference
  • a train wreck
  • Wipeout
  • Survivor
  • a child saying it’s first words
  • a drunk
  • an expert double-talker
  • Simon as a ventriloquist
  • the Hindenburg
  • a Tsunami of emotions
  • a bad fashion show
  • a good fashion show
  • infomercial for teeth whiteners
  • Evil Knievel
  • Scooby Doo on downers

I’ll miss Paula Abdul.  You never know what she would say or do next.

But Kara DeGuardYourOwn is pleasant to look at and highly qualified. I’m guessing she won’t be sitting beside Simon, I think she could take him in a catfight.

I’ll miss Paula Abdul.