Total Knee Replacement: Shall I Just Screw With Their Minds?

Grandad writes today of a person in the hospital who almost became the victim of mis-communication…

patient was being wheeled down to the operating theatre, and the nurses and anaesthetist were discussing the impending operation. The patient had to butt into their conversation to point out that their information was wrong, and that the problem was on the patient’s right side and not the left.

Herself, Grandad’s better 2/3, also met a similar screw-up, and Grandad Himself, went in to the hospital for a conked noggin and found out later he had three broken ribs.


During pre-op for my Total Knee Replacement (ta-da-dummmmm) twice the nurse asked if I was having my left knee replaced.
Yes and Yes.
The pre-op nurse explained that I will be asked this many times. Even in the O.R.  (I shall henceforth refer to the O.R. as Operating Theater, so much classier.) She opined that it was not that they didn’t know what they were doing, it’s just that they wanted to make sure.

No shirt, shitlock! Thank you trial lawyers.

Unless Grandad will make an overseas house call for some of his D-I-Y body repair, I will be offering up these assessments of my Total Knee Replacement (ta-da-dummmmmm).

Left Knee Replacement? Why no… I’m here for a…

  • Cleft Brie Displacement – I’m only here to cut the cheese
  • Theft Flea Emplacement – I’m liberating clueless creatures to a warmer environment
  • Bereft Bourgeoisie Replacement – I’m there to take some loser doc’s place
  • Anti- Guarantee Weapons Emplacement – Installing the Sarah Palin/Glenn Beck Medical Death Panel

I wonder if they have a sense of humor in the Operating Theater?

Hope I get one of those nifty new scans… to explain the unexpected side effect of the Nutrisystem “food.”

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