How Many Pounds in a Gallon of Fat? JFGI!

Remember this?
What do you want for your birthday?
A Henway.
What’s a Henway?
About three pounds.

So far, I’ve lost about 11 hens. If I could somehow export my loss to Peru, I would be able to buy one of those cars I lusted after.

Three suspects have confessed to killing five people for their fat, said Col. Jorge Mejia, chief of Peru’s anti-kidnapping police. He said the suspects, two of whom were arrested carrying bottles of liquid fat, told police it was worth $60,000 a gallon ($15,000 a liter).

I am convinced you can Google any question and get the answer.

Yesterday, Nancy and I had one of those moments when we couldn’t recall the married name of woman. I Googled it, and in the third result was the answer.

Nancy will sit beside me with the netbook and ask me something like, where is Gabon? Since I am used to being the expert on everything in our family, I stammer out an answer or an answer formulated on the premise:  “if you can’t dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.”

And then I realize she has the window to all the knowledge in the universe at her fingertips.

I am going to start abbreviating my answer: JFGI.

Bag 'o Blubber

Bag 'o Blubber

A liter of human fat weighs about four pounds.  I’m down 10 liters.

$150,000 in Peru.

I need to drop another 40 pounds, so I may be making one of those medical procedure vacations soon.

“I can’t see why there would be a black market for fat,” he said. “It doesn’t make any sense at all because in most countries we can get fat so readily and in such amounts from people who are willing and ready to donate that I don’t see why there would ever be a black market for fat, of all tissues.”

Which of course is unanswerable.

I guess kidneys sell for a lot more per pound, but the nice thing about fat is, it’s easy to regenerate.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookPin on PinterestShare on Google+


How Many Pounds in a Gallon of Fat? JFGI! — 2 Comments