- pull forward into the intersection when you are making a left turn, so more than one car can get through the damn signal.
- not write, talk, or email photos of my favorite foods while I am dieting.
- not ask me how my diet is going when I am drinking and bingeing.
- not work the cross-trainer at top speed for 45 minutes while I am present.
- not have a loud conversation in public.
- not name a child Shitade.
- not put more than 37 straight pins in new shirts unless they are acupuncture garments (applies to Bangladesh readers only.)
- not photograph a raging fire/flood/tornado/hurricane/thunderstorm/fog/hailstorm/blizzard and you will not win “Best Photograph” in any contest.
- stop watching morning fluffy network programming that used to feature primarily news.
- Instead, you will watch Robin Meade’s Morning Express.
- Require your high school age kids to watch Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs every week.
- stop spending $400 million to entertain us with stupid blue animated people.
- rise up in rebellion against the TSA and their overlords.
- stop popping the b in billion.
- make commercials the same volume level as programming.
- turn off the “sent from my iPhone” signature. Unless you are sending me a message I requested from your business, turn off ALL signatures.
- not poop inside the house, unless you use the toilet. (ahem, Sofi, Derby, Oliver!)
- give full RSS feeds from your blog.
- kill your Facebook account because it is loaded with scams and schemes and is invading your privacy and sending your information to the Missouri Militia who will come and seize your stash of M & Ms.
- stop picking on Jessica Simpson and Kelli Pickler and all other ditzy busty blondes. Pick on Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock or Olivia Munn and other brunettes.
- not make a list of resolutions that will be broken.
- not call me unless I know you very, very well and you are bleeding profusely. Send me an email or IM.
- speed up if I tailgate you, or pull over so I can pass.
- Invite me to be in your flash mob.
Monthly Archive for December, 2009
I try.
I really try to stick to my mantra of “stuff written for boomers or those who know one.” But Google says people weren’t searching for boomer stuff here … based on these keywords.
I should be pleased that a huge majority of traffic here apparently comes from regular readers. The keywords below are a pretty small part of the overall traffic.
WordPress has a new plug-in that uses Woopra which varies from Google Analytics. Should be fun to see how things change next year after a full year of getting stats from both.
About those of you searching for Going Like Sixty? Try this, it’s easier – my pith will automagically show up in your inbox. Subscribe to Going Like Sixty by Email.
1. glenn beck loses advertisers 3,632 – This was strictly a traffic baiter. It was back when Google ranked the top 100 search terms and I had a post going and just added this as an after thought.
2. magic jack 2,275 – Thanks late night infomercials!
3. la mode recto verso 2,017 – Everybody likes poop.
4. gm dealer closing list 1,810 – More search bait based on Google trends.
5. bugatti veyron 588 – I don’t have a clue why this got this kind of traffic. I guess I could drill down through the analytics, but I really don’t care.
6. florence henderson nude 505 – The post is about Shirley Jones posting nude for Playboy and Florence Henderson advertising a digital set top box.
7. gm dealership closing list 467
8. majic jack 462
9. going like sixty 419
10. big nipples 398 – Mary Louise Parker didn’t want to do nude bathtub scene because these prominent body parts.
2010 is the breakout year for GoingLikeSixty. Stand by, you won’t want to miss it.
In answer to the Red Hat Society (which I think is just totally stupid and show-offy) guys have been forming ROMEOs and now they are organizing with websites and blogs and clothing and the whole nine yards.
Retired Old Men Eating Out
As Groucho said, ” I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member.” But I think I could be a ROMEO if it wasn’t for that “retired” part. Perhaps I can start a Raunchy or Regressive or Raggedy offshoot.
Van Morrison - Age 64
Van Morrison — has a new baby in his house. And it’s his.
No matter how bad I think I have it, there will be no more little babies in my house growing up.
Van and pseudo-wife Gigi Lee have welcomed a baby boy named George Ivan Morrison III according to his website.
It’s the fourth child for the singer.
“Little Van” is “the spitting image of his father.” Morrison’s oldest child, daughter Shana Morrison (also an accomplished singer in her own right) is 39 years old.
A single stat has made me feel melancholy. That, and the fact that it’s Michigan cold!
No snarky irreverence today. A friend told me that unemployment in Detroit, Michigan is 50%.
50%.
Turns out the official number is 30%, but local officials say the official number doesn’t count those that have given up or are underemployed.
“They say” the number is 50%.
I’m feeling melancholy because I was born and raised about 100 miles from heart of the city. We visited the Detroit area a lot, mostly Dearborn, a closer suburb, to visit the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village. It was a great place to drag a kid and have me learn something. Old cars, locomotives, demonstrations, and exhibits from the life and times of Henry Ford and Thomas Edison.
We went fairly regularly to Willow Run airport to pick up my travel-agent Aunt Morna coming home from her world travels. Eventually all commercial service moved to Detroit Metropolitan Airport and we made trips there.
We didn’t go downtown Detroit for any reason other than to see “downtown Detroit.” It was a hustling and bustling city of grand architecture. In other words: boring for a kid.
In the 50s Detroit was 2 million people.
Now it’s half that.
The death of Detroit has been photographically documented. But even one of the websites has fallen to the wayside: ForgottenDetroit.com hasn’t been updated for four years.
United Artists Theater
Isn’t this sad? The slide show shows libraries, churches, office buildings, government buildings, movie theaters slowing turning to dust.
If the abandoned homes are the tip of the iceberg, the commercial buildings are the rest. William Livingston an industrialist who helped make Detroit a great city. His mansion’s declined has been well documented and it was demolished a couple years ago.
William Livingston House
I wasn’t a big fan of Detroit. Since we also visited Chicago (180 miles) almost as often – because of the Museum of Science and Industry, Hayden Planetarium, and Field Museum of Natural History (dinosaurs before they were cool!) I preferred Chicago. Probably because Chicago didn’t smell like auto manufacturing and you couldn’t see the air.
But Detroit deserved better.
