Resolved in 2010 you will:
- pull forward into the intersection when you are making a left turn, so more than one car can get through the damn signal.
- not write, talk, or email photos of my favorite foods while I am dieting.
- not ask me how my diet is going when I am drinking and bingeing.
- not work the cross-trainer at top speed for 45 minutes while I am present.
- not have a loud conversation in public.
- not name a child Shitade.
- not put more than 37 straight pins in new shirts unless they are acupuncture garments (applies to Bangladesh readers only.)
- not photograph a raging fire/flood/tornado/hurricane/thunderstorm/fog/hailstorm/blizzard and you will not win “Best Photograph” in any contest.
- stop watching morning fluffy network programming that used to feature primarily news.
- Instead, you will watch Robin Meade’s Morning Express.
- Require your high school age kids to watch Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs every week.
- stop spending $400 million to entertain us with stupid blue animated people.
- rise up in rebellion against the TSA and their overlords.
- stop popping the b in billion.
- make commercials the same volume level as programming.
- turn off the “sent from my iPhone” signature. Unless you are sending me a message I requested from your business, turn off ALL signatures.
- not poop inside the house, unless you use the toilet. (ahem, Sofi, Derby, Oliver!)
- give full RSS feeds from your blog.
- kill your Facebook account because it is loaded with scams and schemes and is invading your privacy and sending your information to the Missouri Militia who will come and seize your stash of M & Ms.
- stop picking on Jessica Simpson and Kelli Pickler and all other ditzy busty blondes. Pick on Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock or Olivia Munn and other brunettes.
- not make a list of resolutions that will be broken.
- not call me unless I know you very, very well and you are bleeding profusely. Send me an email or IM.
- speed up if I tailgate you, or pull over so I can pass.
- Invite me to be in your flash mob.
I resolve to dance in the street and play a wind instrument while wearing nothing but a diaper…but only after my beard has grown a full four inches.
.-= Catch Her in the Wry´s last blog pith60 years in 26 days – Crazy lady does it again =-.
@Catcher: Fuckin’ A!
Screw a bunch of resolutions. Last check, I’m an adult. I’ll do what I want, when I want.
Happy New Year!!!
.-= MadMadMargo´s last blog pithThat Was The Year That Was =-.
@MadMadMargo: And who determined you are an adult? I’ve read your blog, I may know differently.
Happy 2010: taking a poll, will it be Twenty-ten by you or Two thousand ten?
Hey, leave us brunettes alone!
And have a happy New Year.
@JD: Auburn, your hair is Auburn. (your Avatar is at least) So.
2010, Twenty-ten?
I’m currently in the process of changing my child’s name from Shitade to Crapwitz McFuckford III.
Other than that, I’ve already changed my life in accordance with these rules, except that I reserve my right to resume popping my b’s and p’s, clicking on “-ing”s, pronouncing my “th”s as d’s, and rhyming “bird” with “void.” That’s how we do things in New Yawk, pal.
So do I win a prize for getting these done?
.-= Larry Wallberg´s last blog pithYou Take the Haiku and I’ll Take the Lowku =-.
The name really comes from a baby that was born (in TN) just the other day and saddled with this.
Happy 2010, Two thousand and ten? Twenty-ten, or in your case MMX?
There is no AND in 2010 (two thousand ten). That was drummed into me in math class back in grade school. People don’t say 52 as fifty AND two. I don’t understand why they then put an AND in 2010.
.-= Catch Her in the Wry´s last blog pith60 years in 26 days – Crazy lady does it again =-.
@Catch Her: Yes, I rmemeber those days too. I think our language teacher was more anal than our math teacher about it.
Watch Robin Meade? She’s gone more than she’s on!