Monthly Archive for December, 2009

Page 5 of 7

Total Knee Replacement in Two Words: It Hurts

Nine weeks after my Total Knee Replacement (ta – da – dummmmmmmmm) and I still hurt. Nobody told me this part of the deal. Who do I see about this?

Only after my first couple of sessions did I learn that the only way to gain is with pain – when it comes to a Total Knee Replacement. It’s the only rehab where pain is good.

It’s pretty atotalkneereplacment_dupuynewmazing that they can take out a knee that was surrounded by muscles and tendons and stuff and put in a new knee-joint, get me up walking the same day and 56 days later, I’m still hurting.

I know they get in there and hack away with hammers and knives and saws, but didn’t everything go back where it was?

No. The Dupuy Total Knee Replacement is bigger than the original. So the surgeon glued and screwed the joint in,  stuffed everything back in place, stapled it together and sent me to The-rapists to make it work.

totalkneereplacmentblood My first day with The-rapist was the second day I got home from the horsepittle, which was three days after surgery.

I knew I was in for a long session with The-rapist when the form  I filled out assessing my needs on a range of 0 – 10, were all 0.

Rare, The-Rapist told me. Usually she doesn’t see patients until 14 days after surgery. I guess The-Rapist will make house calls the first couple weeks.  But the weather was nice then, and I wanted to get out of the house as much as possible.

No movement at all. No muscle movement, no knee flex on the first visit.  The-rapist said they usually like to have 120 degrees flex to consider the Total Knee Replacement (ta -da – dummmmm) satisfactory.

But with Mary Anne’s S & M skills, over the nine weeks I am walking again and have 123 degrees “aided flexion.”

totalkneereplacement123degrees

Which means, when Mary Anne pushes as far as I can stand, I have 3 degrees more flex than “satisfactory.” Unaided, which means I take my other foot and push down on my ankle, is about 120 degrees.

And of course, my rate of recovery is being determined by my insurance company. They have said good enough, no more rehab for you bub. So I’ll be pushing on my own leg from now on I guess.

But, damn, my knee hurts. A lot. Still. I’m not sure I have the guts to hurt myself enough to get better.

Suddenly I have a lot more sympathy for those who have chronic pain and muscle degeneration.

I’ll get better. Don’t waste your sympathy on me, think about Laughingboy.

Thanks for your kind comments and encouragement. But move along, nothing to see here.

Forget the Pig Ribs, Bring Me Some Horse Ribs

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes the French to convince you otherwise.

The French have decided that eating horse just isn’t their thing anymore.

horse_swayback

What will they do with all those horses that are no longer suitable for riding schools? It used to be the animals were shipped to the butcher and ended up on some hoity-toity restaurant menu. But France’s other piece of famous meat, Brigitte Bardot, went on a rampage to get the French to stop eating Mr. Ed or Trigger or Seattle Slew.

When Brigitte Bardot got wind that they would be serving horse meat during the four-day event, she launched a media fatwa against the event…

Eating horses has fallen by 12 percent in two years and is now about 1% of the meat eaten in France

“Horse is indeed a French dish, but you’d be very hard-pressed to find it in any restaurants now,” said the chef at restaurant Le Central in Paris…

Apparently, the horse became acceptable at meal times when Napoleon’s surgeon-general said the famished soldiers should eat the dead horses on some battlefield.

Horse.

hmpfh.

I had Oxtail while in Paris once.

Ox.

Tail.

Bring on the horses.

Kentucky is out of it again. We have some beautiful horsemeat here, but none on the menu. Marijuana is the biggest cash crop, but no legal clinics, hemp grows like weeds, but because it’s pseudo-pot, it’s not legal to grow.

Nope, here in Kentucky, we eat the elegant pig, smoke the addictive tobacco, and remove beautiful mountaintops to get to ozone destroying coal.

Why James Chartrand of ‘Men with Penis’ Wears Women’s Underpants


granny-pantiesHere’s my shock for 2009.

James Chartrand, who writes for Men with Pens, the blog that I always refer to as Men With Penis, because it just reads that way to me…

… is a woman.

Born a woman and still is a woman.

Why the change? She couldn’t get work when she pitched clients as a woman. And for the work she got, she was paid less and hassled more.

I had high-quality skills and a good education. I was fast on turnaround and very professional. I hustled and I delivered on my promises, every single time. I worked hard and built the business, putting in long hours and reinvesting a lot of the money I made.

I really, really wanted to make this work.

But I was still having a hard time landing jobs. I was being turned down for gigs I should’ve gotten, for reasons I couldn’t put a finger on.

She started pitching clients using James Chartrand and her world did a 180. She even pitched the same clients as a woman and as James Chartrand.

Taking a man’s name opened up a new world. It helped me earn double and triple the income of my true name, with the same work and service.

No hassles. Higher acceptance. And gratifying respect for my talents and round-the-clock work ethic.

James, or as many of her readers will probably call her now, Jamie, said she was “outed” by a former trusted colleague. Another woman writing as a man!

James is still not revealing her real name, but with all the notoriety her revelation will bring, it’s just a matter of time before we see the real James Chartrand – but probably not in her underpants.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday

I’m working on perfecting my Vlog skills.

Next up: Sound!

(I need to get that fat removed from my lips and put into my chin during my next Nip/Tuck.)

animatedtalking1

Tag Heuer, Swiss Watchmaker Owned by French, To Stick With Tiger Woods Endorsement Deal

One of Tiger Woods’ most popular sponsors is watch maker Tag Heuer – who has recently announced their dedication to sticking with the man who has likely been good for their business. Tag Heuer, while a Swiss watch maker, is French owned (by LVMH). While they may pause or delay advertisements in the immediate future, expect to see lots more Tag Heuer ads involving Tiger Woods, a baseball cap, a golf club, and a watch in the near future. Via
tigerswinger

Of course, the Swiss will stick with the guy that’s been the blonde haired blue eyed babe on his arm, Sweden/Switzerland, they are the same country right?

And French owned? I think having mistress is a prerequisite for a French businessman. Tiger Wood’s standing with TAG Huere just went up a few ticks.