Monthly Archive for December, 2009

Page 7 of 7

Grandpa’s Secrets of the Attic; Why Did He Have a Sword?

Catch Her in the Wry is counting down the days to her 60th birthday with recollections of her lifetime a year at a time.

She writes about the fun of playing at her grandparents farm and making discoveries and playing in the gigantic attic.

There were lines strung from rafter to rafter, holding old dresses, suits and coats, and boxes of various hats; books, paper, kitchen items, furniture and everything a child could dream of to play with and yet plenty of room to run around.

My paternal grandfather had six wives (one at a time), and each wife helped clean out his belongings acquired over a lifetime.

Nina was the woman he was married to when I was a curious boy. I remember one time we went into the attic looking for something, and there was this magnificent elaborate uniform hanging in a closet. Navy with a black stripe down the pants, long coat tails, epaulettes, gold braiding and lots of buttons shiny buttons down the front.  Of course it was fascinating to a young boy and she told me off handedly of why Grandpa had this uniform.

But since it was part of his past with another woman, she really wasn’t interested in it or many details about the uniform. I apparently was satisfied with her explanation at the time and never got more details from Grandpa or Dad.

Yes, I’m sure he wasn’t a tuba player for Sousa!

But Catch Her In The Wry’s post jarred a memory that has me curious. What happened to the shiny, fancy, engraved sword and scabbard that was part of the uniform?

Talk about knocking a kid’s socks off. When she pulled that sword down from the top of the closet and unsheathed it, I wanted it. Bad. I think she let me hold it for maybe 30 seconds before it went back out of my reach.

The uniform and sword were both non-military. My recollection is that it was a fraternal brotherhood and my Grandpa was an “officer” or high ranking something or other. He was active in the Masons and perhaps was a Shriner (?)

No, this wasn’t a clown uniform, either.

But my dad was a 32nd degree Mason and he didn’t have a uniform.

Do you have any clues?

Since I am the only surviving grandson and my father was an only son, I’m a getting a little pissed that this heirloom isn’t in the top of my closet!

Coming soon: My maternal Granpa’s badge

If Celtic Woman is Hot in Louisville, I Wonder How The Kentucky Headhunters Would Do in Dublin?


It’s fundraising time for Kentucky Educational Television. (At least two oxymorons?) This means they are rolling out the concert and special event programming.

I am captivated by the Celtic Woman group. I’ve watched bits and pieces of the concert the past few evenings (they always lose me during the pitch to send money to help pay for watching.)

The crawl line says for a bunch of money, I can go to Louisville, Kentucky to see them in concert and hang out with them back stage. (After the performance…if they threw in a “during costume changes” level, they might get more donations.)

As I stare at these beautiful young things and listen to their voices, I wonder if The Kentucky Headhunters would play as well on Irish television.
In other words, would Grandad at Headrambles.com and his cronies at the pub be as interested in these guys:

The Kentucky Headhunters

The Kentucky Headhunters

as I am in these girls:

Celtic Woman

Celtic Woman

HAR.
Even though I’m sure Grandad and the other Irish dudes (lads? guys? fellows?) would love to hear

  • The Ballad Of Davy Crockett
  • Oh, Lonesome Me
  • Redneck Girl
  • Spirit In The Sky
  • It’s Chitlin’ Time
  • Honky Tonk Walkin

by The Kentucky Headhunters as much as I love to hear

  • Pie Jesu
  • Danny Boy
  • Mo Ghile Mear
  • Amazing Grace
  • Níl Sé’n Lá

by Celtic Woman, looking at these Irish babes makes the music sweeter.  Yep, the definition of a pig. I would rather watch Kelli Pickler than Susan Boyle in concert.
So shoot me.

Nancy said I had the chance to see Celtic Woman in concert in Nashvegas, but turned it down. When she saw the concert in Hi Def on our BATV, I think she understood that I would rather see over-produced lipped syncing on Tee Vee than the real thing.
So shoot me.

Then play Pie Jesu at my funeral. And if you want the last laugh, make it the Kentucky Headhunters version.

Pie Jesu, (4x) Kind Jesus,
Qui tollis peccata mundi Who takes away the sins of the world,
Dona eis requiem. (2x) Grant them rest.

The Kentucky Headhunters version:
Holy Jesus, (4x)
Ain’t y’all binwatchin cuzzin?
Need ya jess stanback a piece
Donna is hungover!

(Good luck on getting the phrasing right on those lyrics. I think it helps if you down a pint of bourbon first.)

Oh, For the Love of Mike, I Hope This Striptease Video is Faked.

As always the payoff for this cheesy vid is right at the end. It’s 49 seconds, but worth it.
Totally.
Recto Verso is a method of printing, primarily banknotes. This certainly has a money shot (not in the NSFW sense.)

Of course La Mode, is “with ice cream.” This video added some fudge. This will all make sense when you watch the video.
I guess this is striptease video called La Mode Recto Verso is just another of those wonderful, but fake, videos. It’s almost as good as surprise kitty.

Here’s the link because the video has been torpedoed by YouTube.com… http://goinglikesixty.com/video/StripTease.wmv

UPDATE: Definition of La Mode Recto Verso I have decided means if you want to make a good impression make sure you have all sides covered. Thanks to Adman (in the comments) for the tip.

The Worst Vlog Ever


I’m not a huge viewer of Vlogs because nobody in my RSS uses Vlogs. I suspect a lot of us have experimented with posting a video of us being our charming and witty selves, but 1. only had the guts to do one try and 2. were shocked seeing ourselves on video so much, we vowed never to return.

One has done a podcast or two and that stopped pretty quickly too.

I did get as far as putting the microphone on and switching on the recorder. I said my cheerful “Hello all. This is a podcast” and then I went blank. What the hell was I supposed to say?

I don’t mean to call out this specific blogger because this type of video is all over YouTube. If you are going to Vlog:

  1. Have something to say, if the Vlog above was transcribed it would be horrific
  2. Look at the camera, not your image on your monitor
  3. Don’t make it up as you go a long
  4. Speak up, be animated, talk to us, not to your computer
  5. Don’t lie just to be fake humble “I’ve done 500 takes…”
  6. Be real, don’t pretend you are doing a Vlog because your hair looks good
  7. If you dressed up to look nice for us, it’s OK, we’re flattered

Where’s my Vlog?Why don’t I practice what I preach?

Because one should know one’s limits. I’ve seen myself on home video enough to know that I don’t like the way I look. And I have a thin skin when it comes to criticism. If I did a Vlog, I’d be afraid somebody would write a post like this about me. I only did because The Queen said it was OK:
What you are about to see could lead you to unfollow, leave mean comments and hate me.
I won’t unfollow or hate The Queen, but mean comments? How about a whole friggin’ mean blog post?

OTOH, you never know… I may do a Vlog and I promise it will be EPIC.

UPDATE: Now this is an interesting Vlog… from a bearded lady… pretty much meets all my specific requirements for Vloggery as noted above.

The Crow Confirms: I Want to Be Steve Martin When I Get Big

I spent all day Sunday opening one of my birthday presents, a new CD:  Steve Martin’s new album “The Crow, New Songs for the Five-String Banjo.” It was a birthday gift from Bulbous and St. Todd DeCubville and I love it. Even though I haven’t heard all the tunes.

As a matter of fact, I just heard one: Pritkin County Turnaround.

I love it.

I want to be Steve Martin.

Steph wrote a headline about her post being for people who “hate classical music.” It was the classic (ahem, pun intended) overstatement needed to embed a silly video of Itzhak Perlman fiddling around (*cough*) with the Boston Pops.

I commented that I didn’t “hate” any genre of music. Certain works can make me hit the “next” button very quickly, but Pandora.com has revealed I like a lot of different tunes:

  • Rock
  • Pop
  • Alternative
  • Cajun
  • Jazz
  • Raggae
  • zydeco
  • Blues
  • Bluegrass
  • World
  • Gospel
  • Country Western
  • Classical
  • R& B
  • Folk

Taken together these genes capture the unique and magical musical identity of a song – everything from melody, harmony and rhythm, to instrumentation, orchestration, arrangement, lyrics, and of course the rich world of singing and vocal harmony. It’s not about what a band looks like, or what genre they supposedly belong to, or about who buys their records – it’s about what each individual song sounds like.

Steve Martin has played Banjo for 45 years. Of course, most of us know him as the guy with a banjo around neck and an arrow through his head. The anti-matter version of Itzhak Perlman, who most of us know as the guy on crutches with a violin through his neck.

The Crow features special appearances by Dolly Parton, Vince Gill, Mary Black, Tim O’Brien, Earl Scruggs, Pete Wernick and Tony Trischka. Not to shabby, eh? (OK, I never heard of Black, O’Brien, Wernick and Trischka before this, but if they are good enough to play with Steve, then OK by me.)

So I can rant and rave about how great The Crow is, from the liner notes to the music, but Martin sums it up best:

This is the most expensive banjo album in the history of the universe and includes possible alternative universes, too.

Buy this album, poor Steve Martin needs the money and adulation.

I can’t wait to hear the rest of the songs!