Booger Walls


Did you have a booger wall near your bed growing up? Me neither. I used the sheet or bedspread.

Steam Me Up Kid had a booger wall that apparently rivaled any creation by Rembrandt. Well, at least it was far better than her brothers.

Not to brag, but my booger wall kicked his booger wall’s ass. I had all sorts of dander allergies, plus I’m just competitive like that. Mine was maybe 3 ft x 2 ft, with the majority of boogers clustered toward the middle. His was a mess. No sense of boundaries or organization at all. No forethought in the placement. Scattered and careless. I pitied him for his pathetic booger wall.

Yes, this was the grossest post I have read on the innerwebs. Naturally, I will add my memory of  Fourth Grade and the Flying Blood Clot.

Russell was the polio kid in our class. As a result, he got to rest more. There was a storage box near the back of the classroom and Russell would lie down on his blanket and rest regularly.

I watched him rest. That was my rest. It made me wish I had polio.

Full scale replica of blood clot

One event broke me of watching him rest.

Apparently Russell had earlier picked his nose until it bled. It had clotted by the rest time, so Russell started digging away again.

I looked over just to see him pull a clot from his nose the size of a large slug on the end of his finger and flick it against the wall at the foot of his resting place.

If the janitor ever saw that blood clot on the wall, he never touched it.

Every time I  looked at the wall that blood clot booger was there.

It probably still is, because the school is still standing.

Held together by thousands of boogers.

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