Michigan’s Fierce Animal, the Wolverine, Is Gone


From Treehugger comes disturbing news.

Michigan’s last Wolverine is dead. I am a Michigander. I will soon be extinct too.

The Wolverine was the official state animal and since it doesn’t snow as much in Michigan as it used to, the Wolverine population has been in decline.

Hikers found the last remaining Wolverine dead from natural causes. The first spotted the wolverine in 2004. Teacher Jeff Ford tracked the animal for years and says it had distinctive markings “like a fingerprint.” He says years of monitoring failed to document any other wolverines in the area.

This time around Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer will be distributing the film directed by Dan Bradley (long time stunt coordinator, first time director).  There is already a tremendous amount of buzz surrounding this remake of a cult classic, which will replace the Soviet Union with China and the WolverSheens with:

Chris Hemsworth as Jed Eckert
Josh Peck as Matt Eckert
Josh Hutcherson as Robert
Adrianne Palicki as Toni
Isabel Lucas as Erica
Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Col. Andy Tanner

Col. Strelnikov: [he lectures the Russo-Cuban Army about what must be done regarding the Wolverines] From this moment on… There will be no further reprisals against civilians. This was stupid. Impotence. Comrades… If a fox stole your chickens… Would you slaughter your pig because he saw the fox? No. You would hunt the fox… You would find where it lives and destroy it! And how do we do this? Become a fox.

  • Hugh Jackman was a passable Wolverine.
  • And of course the internet was named after Wolverine World Wide. (that’s why you sometimes see http://www…)

This was the only Michigan wolverine spotted in the state since the early 1800s. Most of the wolverines are found farther north, in Alaska and across Canada. However, as the planet heats up, the species is disappearing.

That’s too bad.

Another part of Michigan is extinct because of global-warming. First cars, Gerald Ford,  and now the Wolverine.

I suppose the Michiganders will now choose the Goose as their official state animal.

Honk.

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Comments

Michigan’s Fierce Animal, the Wolverine, Is Gone — 4 Comments

  1. oh you should go to PA and get that wolverine that see his shadow in feb. what do they need a wolverine for anyway?

  2. @Nooter, nooter, nooter! What am I going to do with you? I put up a picture and everything. Phil is a groundhog not a wolverine.
    BTW: stay away from that cat with the black stripe on it’s back at the Bark Park.

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