Demand Studios’ Editor for eHow.com is Just Full of Shit


I thought it would be fun to pick some quick bucks by writing a “how-to” piece for Demand Studios.

Demand Studios provides the content for eHow.com,

the leading online resource for “How to” instructions and project completion advice. People visit eHow to find help with how to do (just about) anything.

The title: How to barbecue great ribs easily

This is the deal (not how I wrote it.)
Dump some country style pork ribs in an aluminum pan, dump in a bottle of BBQ sauce, add a can of Coke, and cook for 3-4 hours over lowest heat on a gas grill.

This genius of an editor responded.

I wouldn’t approve this article just because this is not the best way to cook ribs. Most experts recommend indirect heat off the coals on the cooler side of the grill for most of the cooking before putting it directly over the coals, and most wait until later to apply BBQ sauce because it burns easily. Although it won’t poison them, your advice in not in the readers’ best interest.

Well no shit! I know how to cook ribs the hard way. This is the EASY way you loser. And I’ll tell you whut Bozo, these ribs are yummy.

This article is way too thin. You must provide greater detail or it won’t be worth the reader’s time–he’ll look for a more detailed article than yours and one that seems to be either written by an expert or based on credible research.

Thin? Hell yes it’s thin! It’s the EASY way to do ribs. I’ve done the hard way. I’ve cooked a whole damn hog! This is the EASY way to do great ribs you friggin’ editor.

Here’s the eHow.com description of how to boil an egg.

  • Place the raw egg in a saucepan.
  • Step 2 Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg.
  • Step 3 Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.
  • Step 4 Reduce the heat to low.
  • Step 5 Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.
  • Step 6 Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly.

I’m too good for Demand Studios.  Screw ’em. Unless they accept my other submission:

How to grill kick-ass bratwurst the easy way.

But since that only takes the same number of steps as boiling an egg, I’m sure that will get kicked back also.

In case you want to write for Demand Studios, here is a sample of the scintillating topics and pay rates:

  • Who should inspect a new roof upon completion? $7.50
  • Are loading docks considered no exposure for storm water? $7.50
  • Is it practical to convert a gasoline engine to lp gas? $7.50
  • Can injected oxygen make a gas engine turn more rpms? $7.50
  • Can i use aol or d-link for a proxy server? $7.50
  • Are induction furnaces cheaper to operate than forced air? $7.50
  • What is the weight of an empty dump truck? $7.50
  • Which submersible pond pump is the best? $7.50
  • How do i check & change a pcv valve on a Volvo 850? $15.00
  • How do i install trunk pans in a nova? $15.00
  • How do i use an asus v66 cell phone as a modem? $15.00
  • How do i check & change a pcv valve on a Volvo 850? $15.00
  • How do i install trunk pans in a Nova? $15.00

Knock yourself out, but don’t exceed 500 words!

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Comments

Demand Studios’ Editor for eHow.com is Just Full of Shit — 18 Comments

  1. I gotta tell you, my take on Demand Studios is about the same as yours. The changes to eHow and the absorption of it into Demand Studios seemed sensible enough, but these jackasses don’t have any idea what a good “How To” really is, because they are too damn busy trying to make more money.

    They want your article to be larger so they can try to milk more “Bing” style mouseover auto-search hits from your article. So, basically, they WANT you to write an over-bloated shitty “How To” instead of an accurate, concise and USEFUL one.

    And that is just making the whole “How To” process into garbage that is not fun to read, not anywhere near as educational and useful to learn from and just… plain… SHITTY.

  2. Okay, what’s the deal? I couldn’t post… Your thing said my doohicky seemed “a bit spammy”.

    How to cook eggs:

    1. put egg(s) in pan and put as much water in there as you want.

    2. Cook eggs in boiling water for ten minutes or until eggs float.

    3. Take eggs out of water and throw into bowl of cold water.

    Boom, eggs done.

    I guess the fucking word was too much for your spam thingy.

  3. @Absurdist: I’m sorry, spammy thing is just picking on you. I’ve looked to see why and dunno. I apologize.

    Eggs: Boom! eHow.com is run by a bunch of monkeys on keyboards.

  4. So true BBQ King! I wrote one article for them; had a dumb-shit editor try to hack it up and said f it — this is why content media sites suck–and have you read any of the eHow articles they actually publish? Huh? To the writer that uses eHow…eWhy?

    Ok, just had to find out if I was the only one.

    I am going to try your BBQ though–sounds easy.

  5. I’m still trying to figure out which school of 4th graders is doing the editing at Ehow and Demand ! They know their letters and numbers but that’s all.

  6. I know this is a tad late, but I had to comment on your hilarious experience with the world of being an Demand Studios/eHow contractor. My experience with their “editors” was no differnt, except I wrote a lot of their math-for-idiots articles. I should have treated my task as explaining 4th grade math to idiot editors, not idiot eHow readers.

    I kid you not, I had an “editor” who did not understand why (20-14)*3 = 21 and insisted that it was wrong. Apparently the concept of parentheses was beyond his/her comprehension.

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