Monthly Archive for April, 2010

Page 4 of 5

Things I Would Do With Diplomatic Immunity.

Published on April 9, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 3 Comments


True! Source.

Washington – A Qatari diplomat who was detained by US authorities after prompting a security scare by lighting up a cigarette in an airline toilet has been released from custody, US officials said Thursday.

Imagine if I had decided to light up in the toilet? I would be in Gitmo so fast it would make your head spin.

Since the guy had diplomatic immunity, I guess the U.S. had no choice but to let the guy go. But, Dude! We don’t kiss in public in your country, don’t light up your butt in our airplanes.

Hopefully he would have flushed his butt and not thrown it in the waste paper causing a fire and serious issues, so all’s well that ends well.

Here are the things of a non-serious, but unlawful, things I  would do if I had diplomatic immunity:

  • Pee on the Magnolias at Augusta National

You know about asparagus making your pee stink, did you know:
• Eating beets can turn your urine red.
• Vitamin B2 makes it bright yellow.
• Certain blue dyes make it blue-green.
• L-dopa makes it dark brown.
• Rhubarb sometimes makes it brownish or pinkish.

True. Source.

More laws I would break if I had diplomatic immunity…

I hereby grant you Diplomatic Immunity to avoid any law in the land. What say you?

Tiger Woods Adds to List of Losers

Published on April 8, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Tiger Woods had made losers out of many golfers during his career (which don’t forget started when he was two.)

But he also made losers out of just about anybody that his life touched.

Tiger Woods made his:

  • Dad a loser because it was his Dad that decided that his two-year old kid should appear on the Mike Douglas Show and get his first taste of fame and adulation.
  • Mom a loser because she certainly didn’t get to have a son around the house to do chores and be a regular kid.
  • “friends” look like idiots – or co-conspirators.
  • wife look like a spineless money-grubber. If you’re a woman, how many times do you have to know your husband’s dip stick was dunked in somebody else’s hole before you head to divorce court?
  • agent and management look like dopes because they had no influence on what he did with their livelihoods.
  • media coverage look like a bunch of lackeys who were afraid of the Tiger stare, and how lack of access could affect their future as a PGA beat writer.
  • buddies at Augusta  sound even lamer than normal. Masters chairman Billy Payne said:

“It is not simply the degree of his conduct that was so egregious but the fact that he disappointed all of us, and more importantly our kids and grandkids. Our hero did not live up to the expectations of the role model we saw for our children.”

BTW: Augusta National Golf Club still doesn’t allow women members.  Tiger Woods might be the perfect role model for Augusta (if it just wasn’t for that pesky skin color.)

The only winner that comes out of this is Christine Brennan, the brilliant columnist for USA Today. Here’s what she said and what many are hoping:

“There is no way to know if the Tiger Woods we watched Monday is telling the truth, just as there was no way to determine how much he was lying all those years before. He lied to everyone then. Now he’s telling us he lied before but isn’t lying now. Let’s hope that’s true.”

Today we find out Tiger even made moves to poke his neighbor’s daughter when she was 21.

Tiger Woods has added to his list of losers – himself.

I hope he fails miserably at The Masters.  I mean, miserably! Shoot 80. Hit it in the water. Throw clubs, cuss and swear, refuse to answer questions.

That is the real Tiger Woods – loser.

UPDATE: Earlier Woods said he was returning to Buddhism, today a plane flew overhead Augusta National towing a banner:

Tiger: Did You Mean Bootyism?


Can’t Wait for Date Night

Published on April 7, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment Tags: .

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of 20th Century Fox. All opinions are 100% mine.

This weekend is opening weekend for Steve Carrell and Tina Fey starring in Date Night Movie(opens April 9, 2010.)

I happened to catch their promo for Oprah last evening and aside from being hilarious in their own TeeVee shows,

Whuck?

That’s what she said.

They are very funny together. I just can’t imagine Date Night being anything but a great movie that will have many laugh out loud lines.

On Oprah, there was this exchange…

Tina was asked how she feels being labeled “the thinking man’s sex symbol.” “I’ve heard that,” she said, “and I sort of feel like that’s not really a thing, because I feel like even the thinking man wants Megan Fox and Jessica Simpson. … I see Jessica Simpson.’”

“I think she’s a sex symbol of the idiot and the thinking man, frankly,” Steve said.

You’ve probably seen the commercials, but here is again because I want to get paid, (whuck?)… and it’s too big (that’s what she said.)

Officially this is the story line:

In “Date Night,” which opens Friday, a bored suburban couple played by Steve Carell and Tina Fey go on their weekly dinner date and find themselves thrown into a night of intrigue: there’s breaking and entering, a car chase, a shootout and a showdown with an underworld boss at a strip club. Husband and wife come out of the adventure with some scratches and also with their ardor renewed.

New York Times review.

I’ll probably see this one in the theater. Hope you do too, it’ looks like whacked out slapstick humor.
The best kind.

Visit my sponsor: Date Night

What’s the Fuss over the Bunless KFC Chicken Sandwich?

Published on April 7, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 3 Comments Tags: , , .

Next week KFC, the wing of YUM brands formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken, will roll out their new bunless (not to be confused with a$$less) sandwich.

Not Bunless

It’s called the Double Down and was inspired by the internet.

Our famous Kentucky Colonel is serving up…

two melted slices of Monterey jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce sandwiched between two juicy, boneless white-meat chicken filets.

Who needs those sugary white bread buns anyway? They were just filler. Gimme meat. Gimme fried meat.

Here’s what the food police has to say about the Bunless Double Down…

More like Double Bypass! This thing is both terrifying and captivating, like a harbinger of the apocalypse.

Calories: 540

Fat (g): 32

Sodium (mg): 1380

It’s a HARBINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE.

And here I thought the Apocalypse would be a bunch of strippers in a$$less chaps, instead it’s bunless chicken breasts.

Bring it.

Tell a Soldier “Thanks” With Sign Language

Published on April 7, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments

Skip wrote about an awesome video made three years ago. I had not seen it, nor had I seen anyone using the sign. Perhaps you are in the same boat when it comes to walking up to a soldier and saying “thanks.”

Upon further reflection, I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that it is sometimes awkward to approach a stranger when most of us have been socialized since childhood not to talk to strangers. So if we resist talking to strangers at all, it’s not surprising that we sometimes find it difficult to open our hearts to one to the extent of thanking them for our very Freedom.
~ Scott Truitt, FOUNDER, thegratitudecampaign

I’ll be using this sign, but I’ll try not to avoid going up and saying the words, “Thank you.”

Thanks Skip for an awesome video and idea.