Tiger Woods Adds to List of Losers

Tiger Woods had made losers out of many golfers during his career (which don’t forget started when he was two.)

But he also made losers out of just about anybody that his life touched.

Tiger Woods made his:

  • Dad a loser because it was his Dad that decided that his two-year old kid should appear on the Mike Douglas Show and get his first taste of fame and adulation.
  • Mom a loser because she certainly didn’t get to have a son around the house to do chores and be a regular kid.
  • “friends” look like idiots – or co-conspirators.
  • wife look like a spineless money-grubber. If you’re a woman, how many times do you have to know your husband’s dip stick was dunked in somebody else’s hole before you head to divorce court?
  • agent and management look like dopes because they had no influence on what he did with their livelihoods.
  • media coverage look like a bunch of lackeys who were afraid of the Tiger stare, and how lack of access could affect their future as a PGA beat writer.
  • buddies at Augusta  sound even lamer than normal. Masters chairman Billy Payne said:

“It is not simply the degree of his conduct that was so egregious but the fact that he disappointed all of us, and more importantly our kids and grandkids. Our hero did not live up to the expectations of the role model we saw for our children.”

BTW: Augusta National Golf Club still doesn’t allow women members.  Tiger Woods might be the perfect role model for Augusta (if it just wasn’t for that pesky skin color.)

The only winner that comes out of this is Christine Brennan, the brilliant columnist for USA Today. Here’s what she said and what many are hoping:

“There is no way to know if the Tiger Woods we watched Monday is telling the truth, just as there was no way to determine how much he was lying all those years before. He lied to everyone then. Now he’s telling us he lied before but isn’t lying now. Let’s hope that’s true.”

Today we find out Tiger even made moves to poke his neighbor’s daughter when she was 21.

Tiger Woods has added to his list of losers – himself.

I hope he fails miserably at The Masters.  I mean, miserably! Shoot 80. Hit it in the water. Throw clubs, cuss and swear, refuse to answer questions.

That is the real Tiger Woods – loser.

UPDATE: Earlier Woods said he was returning to Buddhism, today a plane flew overhead Augusta National towing a banner:

Tiger: Did You Mean Bootyism?

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