Monthly Archive for May, 2010

River Kayaking Knocked the Snark Right Out of Me

Published on May 31, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 6 Comments Tags: .

I did my first solo kayak trip today. My friend who will be my kayaking buddy couldn’t buy a kayak and go along because – get this – his wife insisted he stay home with her because she got a major gut-cut by a doctor on Friday.
Sheesh.

I went Saturday with a group for my first outing and after lying around all day yesterday, I whined enough that Nancy said she would take me to the river today and set me adrift.
What a great way to spend a couple of hours – floating down a river, alone, being escorted by a blue heron. That bad boy would let me get within about 300 yards and then take flight further downriver.
A few turtle splashes, some birds, and one river rat (literally) going upstream were the only other creatures on the water. Some were on the bank fishing and skipping stones, but otherwise, twas just moi.
I felt the snark and smart assery melting away.
Until the ride home…

I didn’t want to grunt the kayak on top of the wagon, because by putting the front seat all the way forward and laying the seat back and removing the headrest, the kayak fits just  and I can close the tailgate.

Hunky-dory, unless there is more than one person in the car.

I couldn’t talk Nancy into riding in the rear while I drove to the put-in, and she needed to pick me up downstream, so…

Snarketh returneth.

Junk Stuff I Wrote Sunday Evening In the Midst of Race-a-thon

Published on May 30, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 4 Comments


Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

I did not intend to watch 1100 miles of auto racing, but it has been raining off and on all day. Not so much to drive me inside where the DVR is and I might watch something else. So I watched the Indy 500 and now am watching the Coke 600.

Blah. I hate to waste a weekend day. Especially a holiday weekend.

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up. I’m outside in the NASCAR/Cigar Bar. Itty-Bitty lo-def Tee Vee, 1/3 full bottle of Tiki Torch Oil, an electronic bug zapper that looks like a tennis racket, the sky, wind chimes that are supposed to look like a giraffe.

2. How do you style your hair? How often do you cut it? Weekends I let the wind do my styling – or the bed. Weekdays it varies depending on how long it’s gotten. In the summer, about every two weeks. (Nancy cuts it.)

3. What are you wearing now? Swimming suit and Tee. (Intended to go swim at LeClub de Blub, but thunder means get out of the pool for 30 minutes, so I just did a light workout.

4. What’s your occupation? Do you like it? I am occupied writing this, it’s not to bad.

5. When was the last time that you took a nap? Was there a special reason? I napped Friday about 5 p.m. because I was really tired (why else would one nap?) I went to bed at 9.

6. Who was the last person you hugged romantically? Nancy

8. What was the last full meal that you ate? Salad with chicken tenders.

9. What was the last email that you received? From Bulbous, it said NHL: Edmunton

10. What one website do you always visit when you go online? Website, (not blog, not RSS) none.

11. What was the last significant thing you bought? 8 month supply of dog medicine, flea and tick stuff, heartworm, Sedona’s animal Prozac: $536

12. What musical artist did you not get at first, but then became a fan? None.

13. What do you think about before you go to bed last night? Put on my CPAP. I fell asleep with it off and I was snorking.

14. What was the last CD you bought? Steve Martin’s banjo songs.

15. What is your favorite weather, and why? What’s the weather like today? At midday about 85. Today was typical summer day. Started hot and humid, then rained, then hot and humid, then rain, then thunder, then cool.

16. If you could have a special artistic talent, what would it be? I would be a wonderful water-colorist, or have awesome Spirograph skillz

17. Did you watch the Idol 9 finale? If yes, what are your thoughts? I. Did. Not. On purpose, I didn’t think either Crystal or Lee was special and I didn’t care who one.

18. What’s something you’d like to say to someone right now? Thank you for reading my blog.

19. Any special plans for this (holiday in the States) weekend? Yes, first ever slow water kayak trip on Saturday. Meet “Rocks or Water”…

20. Besides your current S/O, who was the last person that you loved romantically? Nobody.

Ok, now what do I do the rest of the weekend? We already are planning on going out to eat breakfast tomorrow. And maybe take in a ballgame.

The Indianapolis 500 is Over

Published on May 30, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: .


Soon the Indianapolis 500 Race will end.

Permanently. Kaput. Extinct.

It is already irrelevant.

Here are the reasons Indy Car racing will choose to move out of Indianapolis:

  • Timing. Race time is 1 pm EST Sunday – in the middle of the day in the middle of the first summer holiday weekend. A time when most people would rather be outside doing summertime stuff. (NASCAR races Sunday night, when fans are ready to chill with a few more beers.)
  • All the cars are the same. Indy Racing League (IRL) rules are so tight that the chassis is the same and the engine is the same. There is no room for innovation.
  • Foreign-born drivers dominate. Who are all these guys? Except for Mr. Ashley Judd, even Indy Car fans can’t name more than five drivers in the field – especially American born drivers.
  • The month-long hype for the Indianapolis 500 is gone. The IRL has mucked around with the way time trials are held and now drivers to who want to sit on the pole position have to run fast TWICE.
  • A wobbly voiced really really old white woman issued “the most famous words in racing.”
  • A strong  voiced really really old white guy sang “Back Home Again in Indiana.”
  • Fans can’t relate to the cars.  At least NASCAR has brands that can be purchased at a local dealership. Sure, they are nothing like what is on the track, but Dodge lovers can root for the Dodge cars.
  • It’s a boring track. There is only one groove which means side-by-side racing is impossible. Fans in the stands see a blur of cars with no idea who is leading (except of for scoreboard.)
  • The Indy Racing League  is being run by a CEO who had never seen ANY Indy car race until today. He had never been to Indianapolis. He was a promoter of Professional Bull Riding.

The Indianapolis 500 is over.

Everybody lost.

NavTeq Sat Nav: pfbbt

Published on May 28, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: .

I did a pay-per-post on NavTeq recently because May is Upgrade Your Satellite Navigation System month.

The Dodge Magnum Hemi I drive is five years old. When I first got the car it didn’t have turn-by-turn directions for Smallburg. Sat Nav was still a fairly new technology back in the day.

This wasn’t really a problem then because I didn’t need turn by turn-by-turn direction from NavTeq. I don’t know street names anyway. I just get from place to place based on the stores that are nearby.

Now that I am a River Rat and will be exploring local rivers, creeks, streams, lakes, and large bodies of standing storm water, I thought I would invest $199.95 and upgrade my factory-installed satellite navigation system.

Until I read my own pay-per-post, I didn’t have a clue that NavTeq is the supplier for most American cars navigation systems. They are, I read.

I got the CD update and popped it in the car, drove to the Vet to get Sedona’s “bitch” pills (canine Prozac) and by the time I got there, the system was upgraded.

Selected “home” as my destination, NavTeq informed me that turn-by-turn directions were not available in my area.

Whuck?

Screw this. I want my money back.
NavTeq said they would be happy to give my money back IF I returned the CD UNOPENED.

Double whuck? I explained that it’s hard to install a CD while it’s still in the jewel case wrapped in cellophane. The subtlety whooshed over Ms. NavTeq.

She had me read the numbers from the original CD which ended in “AC.” The new CD ended in AI – indicating that there were in fact updates from AC, to AD, to AE, etc. etc. Ms. NavTeq reassured me that people had driven miles and miles of streets and roads and provided many changes.

I asked if there was anything I could do to make the updates work. She said apparently something just wasn’t “clicking.”

After four refusals to take back the CD because it had been opened, I told Ms. NavTeq I would just dispute the payment via my credit card and she and Visa can fight it out.

NavTeq Sat Nav Tech Support and Customer Service: FAIL.

I don’t feel better venting. I want my NavTeq to be updated.

Rule of Sixty: Appointment, Lunch, Wear Lunch to Appointment

Published on May 26, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 11 Comments Tags: , , .


Rule of Sixty: If I have an appointment and need to grab a quick bite, it will end up in my lap.

Proof:  Taco Bell Fresco Bean Burrito when bitten on one end will squish all the ingredients (mostly refried beans) out the other end with sufficient force to squirt out the other end on the perfect trajectory to land in my crotch.

Wiped off refried beans when dry looks exactly like I pooped my pants.
Appointment delayed only slightly.

Speaking of poop, I love this commercial.
I went #2, but I look like #1… I poo in blue…