Baby boomer man humorously looking at mid-life, retirement, and memories.
St. Todd deCubbville loves aeroplanes.
He is dropping subtle hints that he would like Terrafugia flying car.
Hints like:
Buy me this for my birthday.
For a guy, that’s subtle.
After an exchange of emails, he said if I bought another kayak, to make it amphibious, he would fly me down to the Everglades and I could kayak among the gators.
Yeah, subtle.
Gators. Kayak. Me.
Just glad that life insurance bill finally got paid!
Citrullus lanatus is 92 percent water.
At my age eating anything at any speed that is 92 percent water means I will pee 192% more than usual. Especially when consumed after 7 p.m.
But man-o-man do I love watermelon.
Citrullus lanatus is 6 percent sugar.
Still can’t pick out a good one. What’s the deal with the thumping? Should it be thuddy? or boomy? I need to start going to the farmer’s market because you can trust those guys. I Google searched it but all I could find were those lame “how-to” pay-per-post or videos with commercials.
But I forget to go to the farmer’s market 92% of the time, so when shopping at Kroger for watermelon, how do I pick out a good ‘un?
Bonus question: Why doesn’t Kroger rhyme with Roger?
I am a:
I’m rubber and you’re glue, what bounces of me, makes you blue.
I’m protestant and you’re jew, what doesn’t bother me, makes you stew.
I’m white and you’re Sioux, what riles me, makes you Woo!
I’m a stinker and you’re doo, what causes my odor, makes your pew.
I’m part one and you’re part deux, leave me alone, Sacre Bleu!
I’m a rose and you’re false rue, grind me up and make a brew.
I’m analytical prestigious review and you’re New Caledonian Yew, can’t find me here? Look among bamboo.
Ever notice how many words rhyme with you?
Discuss.
What the hell, since the U.S. is advancing in the World Cup, and I’m a fair weather fan, I’m joining the band-wagon.
In my little show of support, I am adding the Vuvuzela to all future posts. Click for beta demonstration. Details are still being hammered out with tech support in Nigeria, but soon the soothing buzz of the Vuvuzela will grace these pages as you browse.
And, as a bonus, YouTube.com has added a Vuvuzela button to all their videos. This one I uploaded about the lowest note ever sung is the perfect video to illustrate this marvelous new feature available on all YouTube vids.
As soon as tech support in Anna, Illinois can figure out how to change the default position to “on” for the Vuvuzela button, you will have to click the soccer ball icon in the control field.
The summer solstice is upon us. June 21, the first day of summer.
Monday.
I decided to take the day and trek down to the Barren River to see if it still was Barren.
It is – I can personally report that the river is devoid of all fish-like creatures. Only turtles and cattle inhabit the Barren River.
My paddle buddy, Rick and I did the trip on Saturday.
I know I look like an infirm geezer, but when my butt hits that kayak, I am a paddling floating fool.
I had originally scheduled the first day of summer to be spent on the river that flows through Mammoth Cave National Park. But my paddle buddy for that trip pooped out.
Rather than skip spending the solstice on water, I had Nancy set me adrift on the same stretch of water that Rick and I did on Saturday. Any water voyage worth doing once, is worth doing twice.
Did I mention the weather forecast for the Summer Solstice? Check this: predicted high of 100. Yup, great day to be on the water. It was amazing how much cooler it was where I am standing in the picture, compared to our back yard.
Rick, Mr. “Old Man and the Sea” (he is a former Coast Guard Search and Rescue dude) loaned me a fishing pole and even made up a little tackle box full of lures.
My intention was to just bait a hook with worms and let it go at that.
But once Rick put all those pretty imitation fish food thingies at my disposal, I scratched the worms.
My adventure craft left the boat landing at about 10 a.m. I am pleased to give you this Barren River Report:
I took my cell and told Nancy it probably would be about a four-hour float and I would call when I was ready to be picked up. Just as I was heading ashore to relieve myself of Mountain Dew, she called. “Any idea how much longer?”
Me: (thinking) “Hell, I have no clue.” (saying) “Oh, I’m guessing I’m about an hour away, I’ll call ya.”
As I stood on the bank of the Barren River raising the water level by 36 oz, (3 cans of Dew’s worth) I wondered what all those creatures that were scattering beneath my golden shower were thinking.
Two hours later, I spotted the take-out and gave Nanc’ a call. I estimated by float time at an hour. She said she was waiting for me already and had been since the first call. Give that woman a Nook and I think she would have waited ’til dark.
Ten minutes of furious paddling had me at the boatlanding.
The Summer Solstice journey was complete. The Barren River is still Barren. I returned home to mow the lawn and life has returned to routine, but Rick and I have our Saturday Paddle planned.
As Paul Harvey used to say “Stand by for NEWS!“
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