From The “It’s About Damn Time” Department – Heinz Dip and Squeeze

Have you ever skipped adding mustard or ketchup or relish or mayo to a hot dog or burger because you didn’t want to struggle with the impenetrable tiny packets?

Have peanuts ever gone flying everywhere on a Southwest Airlines flight when the bag finally gave way to the with-all-your-might tugging?

Have you given yourself a bloody nose when you have the package in your teeth and your fist slipped upward?

I remember the days when I would watch a geezer struggle to open a packet of condiments and wonder how somebody could be so weak and stupid.

The packets have a little slit somewhere on the top – its simple matter to find that slit and pull it down to open I would say to myself.

But now I am convinced that since I am the Geezer in question, the packaging has gotten tougher.

The world changes.

H.J. Heinz Co. is unveiling the first major packaging change to the to-go ketchup packets in 40 years. The new design has a base that is like a cup for dipping and a tear-off end for squeezing.


H.J. Heinz ripped off a geezer’s design.

“They took my idea,”

said David Wawrzynski.

Wawrzynski owns of Wok to You, an online food delivery service for Chinese and Thai restaurants and decided to invent a better condiment package after he saw a customer put the germ-laden packet in their teeth to open it.

The result was the Little Dipper, which he designed to be easier to open and less messy than standard condiment packets, with the added benefit of letting users dip food into the packet. He pitched the idea to H.J. Heinz in 2008 but they poo-pooed the idea.

But then. BUT THEN…

Wawrzynski’s friends and relatives called to congratulate him after watching a host on ABC’s “Good Morning America” show Heinz’s new Dip & Squeeze condiment package, which Heinz touted as a “true packaging breakthrough.”

Oops! Somebody forgot to tell the inventor that his idea wasn’t so dumb after all, double oops, they forgot to cut him a check to get the rights to his idea.

I hope they served the lawsuit in a packet the lawyers had to rip open with their teeth.

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From The “It’s About Damn Time” Department – Heinz Dip and Squeeze — 2 Comments

  1. I totally agree with that last line. Thieving buzztards.

    Personally speaking from a nail-biter’s perspective though, I rather like ripping things open with my teeth.
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